Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Things Ive Learned From Women Whove Dumped Me

Things I've learned from women whove dumped me, have actually helped me save my current relationship. Why? Well, basically all partnerships are the same in that if you do not have certain components they will fail. It doesn't matter how good looking or how wealthy you are. Your relationship will fall apart.

If I hadn't been educated by my previous girlfriends I wouldn't have learned some valuable lessons. For example, I wouldn't know that I should always tell the truth even when it makes you a little uncomfortable. You see if you are always honest, then she will trust you. Trust is a huge part of a successful partnership.

I wouldn't know that I have to talk about how I feel. OK, I am not a saint. I cannot be like most women in that I still don't feel comfortable chatting for hours on end about my feelings. But I know that I have to explain how I am feeling and not just expect her to guess. I also need to ask her how she feels about certain things and listen to her response. My job is not to fix her life and it will wind her up if I try. My job is to be there to listen and act as a sounding board and only offer a solution if I have been asked.

Other things I've learned from the women who've dumped me is that if I tidy up around the house, I win brownie points which can be exchanged for sexual favors later. I have also realized that sending one flower a day for seven days is more romantic than a bunch of red roses. Making her breakfast in bed or having dinner on the table when she gets home from work tells her I love her louder than me just saying it.

I have also learned that just because she cuddles up to me when we are in bed doesn't mean that she wants to make love. Sometimes she just wants a cuddle and I need to respect that and not take offense. I have also realized that I can't just think she is the sexier than Beyonce. I need to tell her and not just when I want more than a cuddle!

It is funny how often previous relationships I was in broke up for similar reasons. I thought I was doing everything right but I invariably got dumped for ignoring my girlfriends or not trying to understand them. I would have continued being a failure at relationships if I hadn't invested in a couple of books and courses designed to help me understand what makes a great partnership.

Now I couldn't be happier and so too is my wife. Things I've learned from women who've dumped me helped me - how can they help you?

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Simple Getting Back Together After A Break Up Tips

So you've broken up and you want to get back together. Unfortunately, getting back together after a break up isn't as easy as following some checklists and doing all the right things. Sometimes you can do all the right things and still not get back together with this person that you love. It's not pleasant to realize this but it's something you have to be aware of.

However, there are some things that you can do to help you get back together after breaking up that do have good rates of success. They won't work 100% of the time. Because people are unique, the same things aren't going to work for every couple.

Of course, these tips have the benefit of being things that are simply good for you as well as the other person. Even if they don't work, they can improve the relationship that you will have. They can help you regain some self-respect and help the other person feel respected and cared for.

These are all important steps to getting back together after breaking up. And even in the worst-case scenario, if you don't get back together, you should have a new appreciation for the other person and they you. And you can feel better about yourself which will help in the next relationship.

The first step is to always treat the other person with as much respect and courtesy as you would a stranger you're trying to impress. Think of when you first got together and how kindly you might have treated the other person. And how have you been treating them lately, and just before the breakup?

Sometimes, the longer you're with the person, the more that politeness drops and even sometimes you're disrespectful. Go back to the kind person you were in the beginning. That will help them remember how much they enjoyed being with you.

Respect the person's space. If they broke up with you, then contacting them daily and begging them back is a bad idea. If you broke up mutually but have decided you want to get back together, simply explain to them calmly how you feel. Once they know you want them back, constantly reminding of that is probably only going to drive them further away.

When you see them, be affectionate and respectful. If the subject comes up you can express yourself. But if they're aware you want to get back together, don't hound them on the subject. Very often, giving someone the space they ask for can help them realize how much they miss you.

You can also be genuinely helpful and thoughtful. Instead of bringing up how much you want them back every time you see them, focus on their needs for a moment. See if they need anything or if there's anything you can help with, without mentioning getting back together.

These tips might not seem like they're going to speed up getting back together after a break up, but it's not always a fast process. Take your time and your ex's attitude is more likely to change.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Relationship Self Help - Can Save Your Relationship

There are plenty of relationship self help techniques you can use to bring the intimacy back into your relationship. Many people begin to feel that the intimacy levels in their relationships begin to fade over time. They mistakenly believe this means the love is gone, but the truth is that all relationships develop into a pattern of habits and rituals that can often make people feel more like roommates than lovers.

Instead of giving up on your relationship, try using some relationship self help techniques to bring the intimacy levels back to where they were when you first met.

1. Small Talk

Research has shown that couples who engage in regular small talk will experience less arguments and fights throughout their relationship. Connective small talk doesn't mean bombarding your partner with an hour-long diatribe about every single thing you did during the day.

Small talk is simply sharing opinions or observations from things you did through your day. It also means learning to avoid mono-syllable responses and actually showing a bit of interest in what each other is saying. Ask questions and respond to your partner with positivity.

2. Eye Contact

How many times do you really look your partner in the eye when you talk together? As relationships progress, many people tend to look in the direction of their partner's eyes, but they don't make eye contact.

When you first met, eye contact would have been high. Humans react to eye contact as being a positive way to build intimacy. As you become more familiar with each other, this decreases over time, which also leads people to believe the intimacy is dying.

3. Non-sexual Physical Contact

Learning to touch your partner and encouraging them to touch you too in non-sexual ways can help to increase intimacy. Give your partner a hug without expecting it to lead to anything further. Offer your partner a back massage or a foot rub and don't have an ulterior motive. Hold hands when you're out together. These simple forms of physical contact re-establish a level of intimacy and trust in each other that can be very effective relationship self help techniques.

4. Appreciation

Instead of focusing on the things that annoy you about your partner, try focusing on the things you appreciate about them instead. There must be things about your partner that attracted you to them originally, so spend some time each day focusing on the positive things and don't waste time concentrating on the annoying traits that everyone has anyway.

5. Time Out

Far too many couples fall into a pattern of trying to spend all of their time with their partner. They begin to feel as though their partner is somehow deserting them if they want to spend a little time doing something without their significant other. While it's normal to enjoy each other's company, it's also important to remember that everyone needs a little time out occasionally.

This could be something as simple as going out for a meal or a movie with friends or a coffee with the girls. Research shows that many couples improve their relationships when they display trust and encourage each other to spend a little time doing things they enjoy.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Should You And Your Ex Get Back Together - Rekindling The Relationship

Should you and your ex get back together? This is an age old question that every couple asks themselves when they come to the point of a break up. If you truly do want to get back together with your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend, then the first thing that you are going to have to do is spend a little bit of time soul searching.

You are going to have to decide whether or not it would be good for your ex get back together with you. Should you and your ex get back together? It is going to depend on what will make you truly happy.

This is also going to depend on whether or not you guys are going to end up walking down the exact same path as before. Can you address what problems occurred that caused the relationship to fail in the first place so that you can prevent it from happening again.

It is really easy for you to only think about the good times when a break up occurs. If you are going to answer the question, "Should you and your ex get back together?", you are going to need to be able to think about the entire situation objectively, including both the good times and the bad.

In reality, most relationships are definitely worthy of being saved. There are a few, however, that are unworthy of putting effort into attempting to save. So, should you and your ex get back together? It is going to depend on how much time you spent being happy with one another and how much time you spent fighting, disagreeing or having problems?

If the relationship was characteristically unstable, then it might be a good idea not to rekindle things.

So, should you and your ex get back together? Maybe not.

If you should get back together, then, you should know that pestering your ex or cramming yourself down their throat is not going to make things better. In fact, the best thing that you can do is step back, give your ex some time, and do your own thinking about the situation before you make anything happen.

Do not plead, argue or beg your ex to get back with them, because desperation is never attractive and will only make everything significantly more difficult for you.

Stop beating yourself up over breaking up with them, even if you regret doing whatever it was that led to the break up in the first place, because the past is the past and it is time to focus on the here and now.

Should you and your ex get back together? It's time to play it cool so that you can wait and see. Don't rush into anything, push anything or act with desperation, because this will undo your ability to rekindle things with your lost love.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Still In Love With My Ex Girlfriend - How To Get Her Back

Many men tell me 'I'm still in love with my ex girlfriend.' They want to know if there's anything they can do to get her back. The very first question to ask men who think they want their ex back is to ask what they've already tried.

A man who is serious about getting his ex girlfriend back will usually say he's repeatedly tried to tell her how much he loves her and needs her. He's reassured her that he'll change and the relationship will be different if she gives him a second chance. This kind of begging and pleading simply shows a woman that you're desperate and often drives them even further away.

Some men will try the opposite tactic to pleading and they'll turn to bribery. Buying her expensive gifts or taking her to fancy restaurants in an attempt to impress her won't work either. She may accept your tokens, but bribery isn't the way to win back love.

The vast majority of women want to be in a relationship with a man who will listen to what she has to say. Even if she's just making small talk, it's important to her that she's heard. This doesn't mean you have to agree with everything she says. You just need to listen.

When asked if they're willing to listen to their ex girlfriends, men who are trying hard to get back their ex often say 'I've tried to listen, but she doesn't listen to a word I say.' Sometimes when men think they're listening, what they're really doing is hearing the problem and then immediately talking back to offer a solution to fix whatever problem his girlfriend is having. He believes because she doesn't hear a word he says that she's not listening.

However, only hearing the parts of the conversation you think you can help her with and then trying to make her listen to you first is not the same as YOU listening to your girlfriend's needs. Women appreciate men who listen to them. Unfortunately, men communicate in slightly different ways, which could probably have been a contributing factor to your break up in the first place.

If you're still thinking 'I'm still in love with my ex-girlfriend and want to get her back', then practice listening. Ask her a question and then listen to what she says intently. Make a comment about her response or ask another question relating to her response, but don't try to fix it or dismiss it as unimportant. Simply listen to her.

Women assume that a man who listens to her really cares. It tells you that you understand and that you're really interested. The next time you receive an opportunity to get together with your ex, take some time to establish eye contact and really listen intently to what she says.

At first, you might find your ex-girlfriend is a little confused or guarded about your sudden change, but when she realizes that you are interested in what she's saying she'll begin to relax and realize that you do care. She'll immediately begin wondering why her feelings for you went away and they should come rushing back when she understands that you really do still love your ex and really do want her back.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Stop My Divorce

Divorces are at an all time high. Sometimes it seems that it’s easier to get a divorce than to get married.

People get hurt in divorce. The parties are forever scarred. Children, if there are any, never get over the hurt. Knowing this, you may be wondering “How do I stop my divorce?”

There are three steps to stopping a divorce.

The first thing that you have to realize is that saying you’ve changed does not mean you really have changed. If you are the person who is at fault in the relationship, it’s not enough to give lip service to the idea of change.

If you have been having affairs, for instance, it is going to take time for your partner to believe that you are no longer going back to your wandering ways. It is not enough to tell your partner that you’re not stepping out anymore. You will have to take concrete actions. As an example, you may need to allow your partner to “monitor” your activities by checking in with him or her on a frequent basis. If your job requires you to travel, you may have to look for a new job that keeps you close to home.

Other things besides affairs can mess up a relationship. For instance, if the wife’s spending habits are causing money problems which weaken the marriage, she may have to commit to cutting up the credit cards and living on a cash allowance. If the husband’s work habits keep him away from home too often, he may have to commit to being home by 6:30 every night no matter what. At the crux of this step is what is the most important thing in your life? If it is your marriage, you will make the necessary changes. But don’t just give lip service to them. Actions speak louder than words.

The next step is to avoid using emotional blackmail if you want to stop your divorce. Recognize that love is NOT enough to save your marriage. Telling your partner, “but I love you” in the heat of an argument will not win you any points. When you say “I love you” at inappropriate times, your partner is forced to say “I love you, BUT…” this weakens the emotional tie that love has between you.

Use the powerful “I love you” message when your wounds are mended, not at the heat of an argument.

You can’t use logic or guilt to change your partner’s mind. Arguing like this will only involve a spiraling argument. If you feel you must win, then you will lose.

Finally, don’t think that you can win an argument. Some people like to use their superior logic or argumentative skills to “prove” they are right and their partner is wrong. This may work in a formally scored debate, but in a marriage (which is scored on emotions not facts) it’s sure to fail. Instead of arguing, solve the problem. If your spouse brings up a fault in you, discuss possible solutions rather than argue back.

Are you wondering how to “stop my divorce?” Start by following the “stop my divorce” advice I’ve laid out in this article.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Tips on Getting Back Together After A Long Time

If you've been apart from the person you love and you plan on getting back together after a long time, the first thing you should do is slow down. That's probably the opposite of what you want to do when you're ready to get back together. But even if they are ready to do so as much as you are, take a careful look at your situation.

Depending on how long a period of time you've been apart, many things about each of you could've changed. You could be different people in many ways. And while this is not necessarily a bad thing, you do need to be aware of it.

During that long time, have you been with other people? Have they been with other people? How do you each feel about things you've done when you were apart?

If you're unsure, it's important to have a conversation about it. You don't want to get back together after a long time only to find that you're unhappy with the things that have happened between your breakup and now. They might assume you've been pining for them and not seeing anyone else. And you might assume the same.

While talking about other relationships might seem a bad idea, it's better to do so before you get back together and to have a surprise afterwards. And remember, it's not always a bad thing. Being with other people could have shown Bush them why they want to be back with you.

You also need to think about why you broke up in the first place. If it was something that one of you did, has there been forgiveness for that? Or are there still resentments one or both of you haven't been able to let go?

It would be terrible to get back together after such a long time only to find that one person or the other, or even both, is hanging onto a past hurt. Try to work those out before you make another commitment. That can help you keep this commitment much stronger and longer lasting.

If you're trying to convince the other person to get back together with you after a long time and they're not really on board, you can try wooing them in the same way you did in the beginning. Or if they wooed you, you can make it clear that you want them to try again.

There's no guarantee that they'll come around and want to get back together with you. But if you do everything possible to make it clear to them you want to, if there's any part of them that wants to, then it could happen.

When you're getting back together after a long time, you have an opportunity that other broken up couples don't. In many ways you can get a fresh start. Especially if you have very much time apart you can get to know each other all over again. Date just like you don't know each other, and try to do everything right from the very beginning.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Saving A Relationship 3 Tips For Doing So

Whether you've recently broken up, or you're afraid you're on the brink of a breakup you can take heart, saving a relationship is possible. You can reignite the flame that the two of you once shared. It won't necessarily be easy or fast, but if you're committed to making it work there is hope.

I've compiled a list of some of the things you need to do to salvage and repair your relationship. Keep these tips in mind when you are analyzing your relationship:

1. Do you really want to stay in the relationship? I know this may sound like a dumb question but sometimes when we think we want to keep our relationship what we really mean is that we're afraid of having to find someone new, or starting over. If you're brutally honest with yourself you can determine if you really want to continue the relationship or if you're just scared of being on your own.

Another part of this question is to determine if your partner really wants to work on the relationship too. Even if you decide that your relationship is worth saving, that doesn't mean your partner shares your conviction or will be willing to invest the time and effort to work on your problems.

2. Honestly evaluate what went wrong in your relationship. Again, this will need to be done by both of you. This can be the hardest part, it's always easier to blame someone else for the problems but it's tougher to own up to your part in the break down of your relationship.

Before you can repair it you need to know not only what is broken but why it broke. The two of you may even want to visit a couples counselor to help you objectively work through this phase. Sometimes having an objective third party in the room can help you both stay calm and face things you may not have been willing or able to face on your own.

3. Try to remember what drew you to each other in the first place. If you've been in a relationship for a while you obviously loved and enjoyed each other. So often in a relationship what happens is that the 'stronger' one (or the most selfish one) controls the relationship. They become the one who tends to take more than they give. The other partner will take on the role of the giver. Over time the 'taker' will get bored because the fun loving person they fell in love with has become a doormat and the 'giver' will get sick of not getting their needs met often enough.

If your relationship has fallen into this trap you both need to take a step back and remember what attracted you to each other. This might be a good time to not only remember but to tell the other person. Remind them why you fell in love with them, and vice a versa.

Saving a relationship will take time, work, and commitment by both parties, but it can be done. If you think your relationship is worth saving and your partner thinks so too, than by all means, follow the tips above and you can salvage your relationship.

Monday, August 16, 2010

advice on relationships

better relationships counselling love is gone marriage problems relationship advice relationship counseling relationship counselling relationship help relationship problem relationship problems relationship saver relationship tips relationships help successful relationships summer love unhappy relationship unhappy relationships relationship relationsip advice how to make relationship last relationship help relationships

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Tips On How To Get Your Ex Girl Back

Be Yourself:

The first good tip that you should follow on how to get your ex girl back is to simply be yourself. If you really want to have a shot at getting your ex back, you need to become the person that the ex was attracted to in the first place. Too many people in this situation would be tempted to act macho or clingy, both of which are terrible things to do to an ex that has already expressed her desire to have space from you. You need to act like your own honest self around your ex and make her see the great person that you are. Only when she truly realizes how much she misses having you around will you have a chance at getting her back.

Less Contact is Better:

Another good tip for you to follow is that less contact with your ex is better. This is actually another one of those tips that is counterintuitive for some people. A lot of people would be tempted to try and get into as many situations with their ex as possible in order to have the maximum exposure to them. This is something that is likely to push them out of your life for good. Your ex broke up with you and that means that they voluntarily decided that they wanted space from you. Give them that space and respect their privacy. Be nice and yourself to them when you do get a chance to see them and maybe they’ll start to pick up the things that made them want you in the first place.

Move On Slowly:

Another thing that you can do is to move on slowly. This is not something that’ll help you like the other tips on how to get your ex girl back. What it’ll do for you however is start to put your mind back into healthy mode. Obsessing after an ex is generally not a good idea, especially if the ex is the one that ended the relationship. Most of the time, they’re not coming back to you. If you move on slowly and start to realize that there are other fish in the sea, you will be much healthier mentally. That’ll translate into much more positive body language which in turn will be noticed by your ex the few times that you see them.

Don’t Blow Opportunities:

The thing about attempts to get your ex back is that you can undo weeks or even months of decent work with one stupid line uttered in the heat of the moment. If you do the things discussed above, your ex might start to take an interest in you again. If she does, make sure that you keep on doing those things. Be yourself, be honest and above all else do not pester them. If you suddenly start to become needy and false, your ex will spot the change a mile away and you will destroy all the progress you’ve made.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Relationship Rescue

Many people begin searching for relationship rescue tactics to try and bring back the spark they once had with a partner when the magic begins to fade. Over time, most relationships grow and change from the loving, romantic bond into a steady routine of daily rituals and habits. In some cases, those habits can make one or both people in the relationship feel as though they're being taken for granted.

Some people may find that they're arguing more often than they're enjoying each other. Others may find that there's nothing left to say to each other or they simply fall into a daily pattern where everything else seems more important than the relationship.

Your relationship doesn't have to be this way.

Often the first avenue many people try in order to re-kindle a relationship is to try and bring back some of the romance. Intimate dinners and provocative lingerie are nice physical attempts at bringing you closer again, but they don't address on the inner, emotional reasons why the relationship may be strained. On the other hand, endlessly talking about your relationship rescue plans and tactics could potentially drive a wedge between you and strain the relationship even further.

There are plenty of relationship rescue tactics you can use to bring that loving spark back into your relationships. Here are some relationship rescue suggestions you can try to help get you back on the right track.

1. Appreciation

When the initial heady, romantic stage of any relationship begins to settle into a comfortable partnership, many people lose sight of the things they originally appreciated in their partner. They begin to focus on the things that irritate them or annoy them or make them mad.

Unfortunately, focusing on all the negative aspects of your partner can often bring about a feeling of resentment, which can lead to arguments and eventually the destruction of the relationship.

It's important to try and find things in your partner that you appreciate. You might appreciate their kindness or their sense of humor or their intelligence or whatever attribute attracted you to them in the first place.

2. Awareness

Live each day of your relationship as though it was the last day you have with your partner. Accidents happen when we least expect them. While this doesn't mean it's going to happen to you, consider how you'd feel if something did happen and today really was the final day you had together.

What would you regret most? What would you wish you'd said or done or changed if you never had the opportunity to do them again?

Your answers to those questions should be the very same things you need to be doing with your partner each and every day. When you live each day as though it was your last, the romance will return almost immediately.

3. Communication

Your partner can't read your mind. Sitting in silence letting a problem brew until you're at bursting point won't make your partner see problems any more clearly and it can compound the negative emotions within you.

It's important to communicate with your partner about your expectations, your needs, your goals and ambitions, your disappointment and anger. Communication is about letting the other person know what you're feeling in a clear, non-blaming manner so that you can both be sure you're on the same page.

Relationship rescue is all about finding ways to be sure you understand and appreciate the little things you do for each other instead of focusing on the negatives. If you can communicate clearly and find ways to appreciate and support your partner, then your relationship rescue attempts will be rewarded.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Tips On How Can I Tell If My Boyfriend Really Loves Me

If you have the question of "how can I tell if my boyfriend really loves me" in your mind, there is no doubt you have a tinge of apprehension and uncertainty about his love. Trust me when I tell you; you're not alone with your doubts. Many girls have similar doubts, because the signals they are getting from their boyfriends, just aren't strong enough to really answer the all important question; "Does he really love me?"

I also want you to realize that it may well not be your fault that these doubts enter into your mind. Simply because your significant other may belong, to that 'herd', of men who have extreme difficulty in showing affection. Even when they are deeply in love, it is almost impossible for them to convey it openly or even overtly to you.

When you are with him, you may have a feeling that everything is all right. But once you are out of his sight, it looks as if he has completely forgotten your existence. But once these "doubts" enter into your thoughts, they can quickly become an obsession and consume you. And the end result can destroy your relationship; with someone who does love you. Therefore it's important for you to learn the skills of reading and interpreting your lovers signs; of his true love for you. The following are a few tips that will enable you to help you to resolve the doubts you have been experiencing

- When you are having a conversation with him, you should maintain eye contact. If he is serious about you and the conversation, he will also look directly into your eyes. You will quickly learn he's not being distracted by the other things going on around you both and it's a sure sign of his true feelings for you.

- If your beau puts your priorities before his, you can pretty well conclude that you are special to him and he cares deeply for you.

- Another sign you can look for if he is willing to discuss his 'personal life' openly with you or even obliquely. This shows that he holds you in very high esteem and he believes you will give your moral support and advice on solving the issues. Yes, he will have his own ideas to sort these issues out, he will respect your thoughts and perhaps implement your suggestions. And when a man does that you can bet, your are more than just a girlfriend.

- As you may know, a great many men have trouble remembering those "special days." A sure sign of true feeling for you is when he will try hard to remember those special days such as your birthday, the anniversary of your first meeting with him, etc. and present you with gifts that are unique. These gifts may be inexpensive but they will speak volumes of his love towards you.

If you observe that the behavior of your boy friend conforms to the above clues, you can conclude that he really loves you, though he is not the type who expresses it openly. These signs provide an answer to your question, "how can I tell if my boyfriend really loves me?".

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Long Distance Relationship Advice

Maintaining a healthy long distance relationship can be a challenge. It takes two mature people who are able to communicate in order to make it work. It will also take some sound long distance relationship advice, and that's where I come in.

In this article I've outlined some of the things that you can do to make your relationship not only survive, but thrive. I've also compiled a few of the most common problems couples face and how to avoid falling into the same traps in your relationship.

One of the first things you and your partner need to do to ensure the continued strength of your relationship is to make sure you are both on the same page. Make sure you agree on whether or not you have an exclusive relationship. If one partner thinks it's ok to date while you are apart and the other one is staying monogamous, the relationship is doomed from the start.

For the most part, a couple won't even contemplate a monogamous long distance relationship unless both parties feel the relationship has the potential to be a long term one. There is no sense making this type of commitment unless you both feel that the other person might be 'the one'.

Another thing you and your partner need to do is make sure you have good communication skills. When you are far away from each other for extended periods of time, and you can't have physical contact, you will have to rely solely on your communication skills to continue to build your relationship.

That is why long distance relationships, when they last, are some of the best relationships around. The couple has to learn to communicate effectively to make it work, and they don't get distracted by all the physical attraction. They are able to connect on a deeper level which can often lead to a more fulfilling relationship.

If you are an insecure person, though most people won't admit it if they are, you should avoid getting involved in a long distance relationship. Being in this type of relationship requires a great amount of trust, typically people who are insecure see a threat everywhere, even where there isn't one.

If you and your partner are overly suspicious, not only will your relationship be a constant battle, it will also be unlikely to work. No good relationship can be based on suspicion and insecurities.

You and your partner also need to be careful of the temptation to have a 'fling' with someone while away from your partner. Unless you both agree in advance that some extracurricular activity is ok (and if that's the case why bother pursuing a long distance relationship in the first place) than you should stay faithful to your partner.

If you want to maintain your long distance relationship you have to know ahead of time that it will be a challenge and you and your partner both have to be committed to making it work, but if you follow my long distance relationship advice you and your partner have a real shot of having a great, long term loving relationship.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Relationships - Break Up To Make Up

This is your guide: Relationships – Break Up to Make Up. The break up may be just the first stage in getting back together with an ex.

If you had been dating for any length of time, you and your ex had a lot invested in the relationship. You obviously loved and cared for each other. But something went wrong and one of you decided to call it quits. How you handle the relationship break up may have a lot to do with whether you can ever make up.

If you are the one initiating the break up, try to do it with love and compassion. Whether you are truly calling it quits or just wanting a time out, remember that this is a person who has been important to you and you have a responsibility to take his or her feelings into account.

It’s generally best to tell the person that you want to break up in a public place. That’s because people are less likely to embarrass themselves if others are around. Also, don’t draw the break up out. Just say your piece and leave.

Once you have broken up, leave the channels of communication open. Be there for your ex when he or she needs you.

Don’t play games with your ex. Some people suggest dating their best friend or flaunting a new date on your ex, but consider that if you ever make up, these things are going to haunt your new relationship.

If you have found that you want to get back together with your ex, consider the following:

· Tell them that you are interested · Be interesting yourself – take up new activities and make new friends · Try a new look – whether it is a new hair style or simply updating your grooming, your ex will notice.

Suggest that you meet your ex for lunch or some other non-romantic activity. During this time, you can bring up the positive memories you shared. You can also emphasize any changes you have made in your life.

If your ex gives you any indication that he or she is willing to give it a second try, don’t assume that you can start right back where you left off. Woo your boyfriend or girlfriend. Go out on romantic dates. Start by holding hands, not jumping into the sack.

Also, give your relationship time to heal from the break up. Don’t assume that your ex’s feelings weren’t hurt by the cooling off period.

Continue improving yourself. Don’t fall into bad habits just because you’ve got your ex back. Constantly strive to be the best boyfriend or girlfriend you can be.

That’s your guide to Relationships – Break up to Make up.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Should You Try Getting Over A Relationship Or Put Your Energy Into Getting Your Ex Back

When we split from a lover, we can either try getting over a relationship or try getting them back. It obviously depends on whether you still love your ex as to which one you chose.

If you do want your ex back, you need to make every attempt to achieve this. You and only you know whether he or she makes you happy and would make your life complete. Your family and friends may try to advise you but remember that they are not impartial. They love you and hopefully want what is best for you but sometimes people act with their own interests in mind.

If your friends are all single, they may have been jealous of your love affair and would prefer to keep you single. If they didn’t like your partner, they are not going to encourage you to get him/her back.

Couples, as we know, break up for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes there is no coming back from the split and you have to accept it. Often especially if it was caused by something trivial or a misunderstanding, you could salvage things if only one of you would swallow their pride and initiate contact. Usually this will have to be the man as society still thinks it is the man who should do the chasing. A woman who makes the first move can be seen as being desperate.

Examine your own feelings before you decide which option to choose. Do you want to get back with your ex, to dump them so they know how it feels? These are games for teenagers to play so if that is your motivation, do yourself a favour and move on. But if you really do believe this person to be your soul mate, you need to plan a way to get them back in your life.

Try enlisting the help of their family and friends. Now there is a fine line between asking for help and becoming a stalker so take it slowly. Just happen to be at the places these people hang out i.e. bump into them by accident and see how ms/mr ex is doing. Make sure you are looking good so that the reports back are favourable. If you haven’t slept for days, plaster on the makeup. You do not want it going back to your lover that you looked miserable and suicidal.

You could always try the direct approach and contact your former partner. Ask them out for a friendly drink or meal and see where it goes. You never know they could have been dying to make contact but were afraid that you would not entertain them. People are funny creatures –they will often let fear of the unknown hinder their future happiness.

Whatever you decide, remember that we only get one shot at life. It is not a dress rehearsal. Getting over a relationship or getting back with your ex are both achievable, the question is which one do you want to succeed at?