Thursday, December 30, 2010

Break Up And Get Back Together Game

If the two of you are playing the break up and get back together game over and over and over again it is probably safe to say that there are issues that need to be addressed. One or both of you may have some type of commitment issues or maybe you just do not know how to communicate with each other effectively.

If you are tired of the game you can always just call it quits and try to move on or you can try to learn effective communication techniques and even learn to get over your commitment issues. There is someone for everyone and if you think you have found that someone then you need to figure out why you are playing these games.

Insecurities can play a big role in how we behave and my guess is that insecurities of some nature are behind the break up and get back together games that are being played.

Maybe you feel you are unlovable because of something that happened when you were young. Maybe he is trying to control you and keep you running back to him every time you break up. Maybe you both just like all the drama. Who knows, but if the games are getting tiresome and you want to stop and just have a normal relationship then my suggestion is, go see a couples counselor and get some help figuring out what the heck you two are doing to each other.

A good counselor can help you find the origin of the problem or problems that the two of you cannot seem to get around and help you work through them. If you really want to stay together you need to learn to break the old, hurtful dynamic of your relationship and form a new, more fulfilling one.

You have probably worn all your friends out trying to talk to them and asking for their help in figuring things out so much that when they see you coming they cringe in fear or run away screaming because the conversation always turns out to be all about you and the most recent break up.

Try talking to each other and try to agree to go see someone who can help on a professional basis. If you are all gung ho about learning how to have a better relationship and your mate is not then go by yourself. When they see the positive changes in you after you have been going for a while then they will probably give in and start going along with you. It is never too late to learn how to be a better partner in a relationship.

If you do decide to go together the counselor will probably give you couples homework. Exercises you can do at home together to strengthen your relationship and learn how to communicate on a different level. Trust will grow and insecurities will fade. They may not go away altogether but they will turn out to be so insignificant that they will no longer have a negative affect on your relationship. You will finally be able to stop playing the break up and get back together game and have a much more trusting, loving, fulfilling relationship.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

7 Tips For Getting Back Together After A Break Up

There are many people that try to get back together with their ex after they go through a break up. They realize that they did not want to actually break up with their significant other, and they want to rectify the situation.

Unfortunately, many fail to understand how to actually get back together with an ex. These seven tips for getting back together after a break up will help you to make all of the right moves, and will help you to get back together with your ex.

Limit your Texting and Calling

If you are trying to get back together with someone after a break up, you need to make sure that you limit your texts and calls to that person. While it is important to keep in contact with the person, it is also important to note appear desperate. The more you call and text, the more desperate you may seem.

Go Out with Friends

If you are trying to get back together with your ex, you want to make sure that you continue on with your life. Enjoy time with friends and family. When you spend time with those you care about, you will be in a better mood. A good mood is contagious, and could spread to your ex.

Make a Romantic Gesture

A single romantic gesture can be the one thing that you need to get back together with your ex. This romantic gesture will show them that you are thinking about them, and that you are willing to go the extra mile to get back together with them.

Give Them Space

It can be difficult to do, but giving space to the person that you are trying to get back together with is the most important thing to do. You need to make sure that you give your ex time to think, and time to miss you. If you are constantly trying to talk to them, they may feel as if they do not have the space to consider getting back together with you.

Talk to Mutual Friends

Talk to mutual friends about your situation. They may know more about the thoughts and feeling about your ex than you do, and they may put in a good word for you the next time they talk to your ex.

Ask for a Date

When you feel comfortable, you need to ask your ex out on a date. Taking your ex out on a romantic and thoughtful date will give you the best chance possible at a reconciliation.

Be Patient and Slow

It is important for you to take this entire process slow. If you try to push too hard, you may push your ex away. Allow for time to play itÕs part as you work to get back together with your ex after you have broken up.

At first, you may find it difficult to follow all of these different tips. Some of these tips will go against the emotions you may feel during the process. This self-control and self restraint will help you to improve your chances of getting back together after a break up.