Saturday, July 31, 2010

Rebound Relationships How To Improve The Chances Of Success

People often say rebound relationships don’t work. I don’t agree as there are plenty of happy couples out there who met shortly after breaking up with someone else.

So what defines a rebound relationship? Usually it is where someone starts going out with another person very soon after leaving or being left by a former lover. If you have met somebody who seems to tick all the boxes you were looking for in a partner, I certainly would not dump them. Yes, they could dump you, but so could anyone new that you meet; so why worry about it. You could just as easily be the person they have been looking for.

Relationships break down for all sorts of reasons. It is actually more common for two people to grow apart rather than separate due to an affair or similar reason. If your current partner split from his/her ex, they did it for a reason. If they had been together for a long time, they probably grew apart. Or they may have realised that once the initial attraction had worn off, they were not compatible enough to sustain a long term relationship.

If your new lover has just recently rejoined the single scene, you do need to be a little careful. But you would proceed slowly when dating any new person; wouldn’t you? Try to find out why they split with their partner, but for heaven’s sake, don’t make them feel like they are being interrogated. Men in particular are very slow to speak about their feelings. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, do not jump to the conclusion that he doesn’t like you or find you attractive.

I would also advise against asking to see a picture of the former partner. You do not want to start comparing yourself to them and it is difficult not to do this when you know what they look like. If you are part of the same social circle, it could be even harder not to draw comparisons. If you don’t do it yourself, you may find some of your mutual friends do. Try to discourage/ignore these conversations as they are unhelpful. Nobody knows what happened between a couple other than those two people.

If you are the one on the rebound you need to be sure of your motivation for getting involved. Are you looking for a short fling or a long term love affair? Whatever you do, don’t get involved with another man to make your ex jealous or for revenge. It rarely works and it isn’t fair to play with the new persons emotions.

You may find, just like I did, that your rebound relationship never ends and in fact turns into the love affair of the century. We all need some more fun in our life so try to enjoy yourself with your new partner and see where it leads. Whoever says you should avoid rebound relationships is missing out on a whole lot of fun.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Marriage In Crisis Dont Bury Your Head In the Sand

Is your marriage in crisis? You need to act now and stop putting your head in the sand. Your problems are likely to become a lot worse if you neglect them. If your relationship is worth saving, putting some effort in now will be worth it in the long run; even if it makes you uncomfortable.

Not sure how to tackle your problems? All marriages go through rough spots but with a little bit of effort, respect and understanding most can be saved. All you need is the know how. How do you find that? Well you could book both of you in for some relationship counseling. But some people cannot talk to strangers so are better off taking advice from an internet dating site or better yet purchasing a course designed to help them save their marriage.

Is it worth the effort? Well only you can answer that but I am guessing that if you married this person, you loved them once and probably still do. Real life often gets in the way of our relationships. We are so busy running around trying to please our family, our boss and our friends that often our partner gets forgotten. That is a huge mistake. Your other half should always be number one on your priority list. You cannot have a great marriage unless both of you appreciate the other person and show this appreciation on a regular basis.

Often when couples start bickering it is a sign that both of them are frustrated. Making love may have become a distant memory. Sex may be a little word but it is very important to maintain intimate relations in any relationship. It is the glue that will hold both of you together. It may not be the same as it was in the early days when you first met but true intimacy develops over time and with a little patience and practice you can recapture that lost magic.

Communication is vital to make any partnership work but particularly a marriage. It is too easy to assume you know what your other half is doing or thinking. He or she may be under pressure at work or be concerned about the state of the economy and how it will impact on your life. They may be distracted but it doesn't mean that they have fallen out of love with you. It also doesn't mean that they have been unfaithful or are looking to leave your life.

So why not get a sitter for your kids and ask your partner out on a date. Go to a restaurant and sit down and chat. Don't talk about your kids, your finances or your family members. Pretend you have just met and are trying to impress each other. Slowly but surely you can revive that spark between you and working together can resolve any issues that are causing your problems.

Hopefully you will soon realize that rather than having your marriage in crisis, you can have a happy relationship with your current partner.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I went through a break up so I know the heartbreak you are feeling right now. I thought my life was over and I was never going to be able to get my ex back again after the breakup. Despite them turning against you, you still love them. Dealing with a

A break up causes a lot of pain and agony, especially if you felt that they were the person of your dreams. It makes it almost impossible to forget them. Everything you seem to do reminds you of the good times you had together. You can cry at the drop of a hat. Or see two lovers holding hands and suddenly feel the weight of a bowling ball in your gut for what you’ve lost. Hear a love song on the radio and feel crushing heartache. And if that isn't bad enough, you have to cope with the loss of friends and family that are on "their side".

All the years of dreaming and building it together, emotionally investing into it - only to see it crash all of a sudden. The distinct advantage when you make up, is that you get a second chance, while knowing what went wrong the first time. What if you could get your ex back? And in the process build a stronger love relationship than you had before? It happens a lot, and it can happen for you

Every hour you wait might only have them drift further apart from you. Time can be your biggest enemy and relationship counselling will be your relationship saver. You deserve to spend the rest of your life with the person you love. You deserve a second chance to make things right and the opportunity of getting an ex back.

Well, my hope was satisfied. Getting my ex back within a little over a month after getting The Magic of Making Up to bring back lost love. I owe my relationship help to The Magic of Making Up Don't give up on your relationships. Be taken by the hand and be shown the best relationship advice to get your ex lover back in your arms. Let me show you how to make your relationship last. Impossible Not To Work. Virtually Immediate Benefits Find out how...click here!

Monday, July 26, 2010

The Best Relationship Quotes I Know

I love reading relationship quotes and today I thought I would share a couple of my favorite ones with you. Where possible, proper credit has been given to the person who wrote or spoke the original quote. However in some cases that may not have been possible.

You know love funny quotes as I believe humour is a key ingredient in a great relationship. Some of the funny ones I like are:

"What can you say to a man who has just had sex? Anything you like as he is asleep".

Or for those male readers - "what is the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS?" "You can negotiate with a terrorist!"

Joking aside, this quote credited to Leo Buscaglia should be in all couple’s homes.

“Too often we under estimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around”.

As most of us know it is the little things in a relationship that can cause it to fail or blossom. It is easy to blame the other person in our relationship for our dissatisfaction but as Martha Washington said “I have learned from experience that a greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.”

Some relationship quotations are beautiful and sad at the same time. Such as the one from William Somerset Maugham (an English Writer) on unrequited love being "The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned."

While I don't think Colin Powell was talking about relationships when he said "None of us can change our yesterdays, but we can all change our tomorrows", it is one that we could all do with remembering. Too often we waste time and energy holding grudges against our partners for something they did in the past. It is too late to change it now so let it go once and for all. So long as it isn't a pattern of repeated behaviour it doesn't do anyone any good to remember it.

"Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much " Helen Keller. This lady was my idol when I was growing up. Despite being born blind and mute she achieved so much more than the rest of us often do. I believe that being part of a couple and then a family gives us the chance to be so much more. We need to appreciate the gifts we have. Our relationships would be a lot happier if we said thank you and I love you just a little more often.

As Mother Theresa is quoted as saying "There is more hunger for love and appreciation in the world today than for bread". Make sure your loved one knows how much you love and appreciate them today, to avoid a day when you wished you had listened to the relationship quotes.

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Best Way To Save Marriage Embrace Conflict

In many states, all a husband or wife has to do to end the relationship is state to the court that there are “irreconcilable differences” and the court will grant the divorce. But, in any marriage, there should be irreconcilable differences. The best way to save marriage is to embrace the conflict that is inherent in a close partnership between two people.

We often think of divorcing couples as the ones who screamed at each other all of the time. But if these couples can communicate their needs through elevated voices, they are actually doing better than the couple that avoids all conflict at the cost of expressing their needs and beliefs.

It is these silent couples who need to save marriage through embracing conflict.

While no one is suggesting that emotional and verbal abuse is a good thing for a relationship, couples who don’t acknowledge that there are problems and differences are actually more likely to split up according to Dr. John Gottman, a researcher who runs the Love Lab.

So, if you want to save a marriage, you need to learn how to communicate and express your differences. Here are some tips for communication in marriage:

· Allow enough time for proper communication. If you are not spending enough time together to air your differences and share your strengths, you will find your relationship is in trouble. Work on building couple’s time back into your life. For instance, make a point of eating dinner together several times a week or going out on a date very week.

· Really listen when your partner speaks. It is amazing how much we tune out our partners. He or she may be telling you what you need to know. But, if you are not listening, it is all in vain.

· Find out why your partner is annoyed. When your husband or wife is being particularly grumpy, find out what is really going on. Sometimes, it may be that you have done something that has annoyed them. Other times, it may be that something completely unrelated has occurred. But you won’t know unless you ask.

· Get inside his or her world. As couples begin to drift apart, they start to live in separate worlds. When you make an attempt to get inside his or her world, you may just save the marriage.

· Stop judging. Express what needs you have and listen to your spouse’s needs. But, don’t be quick to judge or criticize.

· Be honest. One of the biggest problems for people who don’t like conflict is that they can’t be honest about what they want and need. When you start to express honest opinions about things, you will begin to save marriage.

Marriage is hard work. But, if it is worth it to you to save marriage, you will do the work. That means more communication, and yes, more conflict.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

Many people find that once the relationship has broken up, there may still be some signs that your ex wants you back. Sometimes people end relationships for the wrong reasons. This could be because of an argument that led to them saying something they didn't really mean, or it could be because they ended up taking the relationship for granted.

If your relationship has ended and you're wondering if those signals you're receiving are signs your ex wants you back, then there are some things you should think about. There are some men who only want to keep in touch so they can get what they need from you when they want it. However, there are some specific signs that your ex wants you back instead of just wanting to get what he can get.

It's important that you distinguish between real signs and things you hope to see. Some women love their partners so much their imagination helps them to visualize their partner making positive signals to get them back. While it's easy to see the positive in anything he does when you're wanting him back, you must remember that some signals will be him just trying to get whatever he can get from you, while there will be definite clear signals that tell you he really wants to fix the relationship and start over.

Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

Perhaps the biggest sign your ex wants you back is when he begins trying to communicate with you frequently. You start to notice you're getting phone calls or text messages and emails more regularly and he seems to want to just keep in touch. This is often a good sign that he wants to test the waters to see if you're still angry or if you're willing to talk.

If you notice during conversations with him that he keeps telling you about things he's doing that are new or different, these could be signs that he's trying to impress you by improving himself. In his mind, he'd be thinking he wasn't good enough to make the relationship work last time, so working to find ways to impress you, such as joining a gym or taking self-help classes or aiming at a new promotion at work or trying to earn more money could be ways for him to try and prove to you that he's a better catch now.

Another way to recognize signs your ex wants you back could be listening carefully to the questions he asks you when you catch up again. If he seems to be very interested in what you're doing and who you spend your time with, then he still has some interest in you. He's testing the waters to be sure you don't have a new guy on the scene.

The biggest possible signs your ex wants you back are unmistakable, yet many women miss them! When he says to you 'I miss you and I want you back', this is an absolutely certain sign he really wants to come back. It's surprising how many men tell their ex-girlfriends this, yet the emotionally worried woman simply doesn't hear it – or worse, she doesn't believe it. She thinks it's a trick or that there's a catch.

The truth is, if he looks you in the eye and tells you he wants to come back, then don't quiz him or accuse him or be doubtful about his signs. Smile. Be the happy, confident person he fell in love with and that he enjoys spending time with. After all, it's the positive signs your ex wants you back that you should be looking for.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Love Break Up Getting Through A Distressing Situation

Are you in love? Break up with your boyfriend can be the most devastating thing in your life if you were truly in love. How can you get through this situation?

First of all, you need to determine whether the relationship is truly over. There are a number of ways to get an ex boyfriend back.

You don’t want to chase him. You want to give him some space, especially in the first days after a break up. So, don’t pester him with calls or texts. Instead, let him call you.

If he doesn’t contact you right away, don’t stress about it. Instead, after about a week, call him yourself. But, keep it casual. Don’t go all weepy on him and ask him to get back together. Also, keep it short. Five or ten minutes should suffice.

If you are still in love after this amount of time, you need to consider making more fundamental changes.

For instance, do you need a makeover? Would a new hairstyle or new clothes attract him back? Do you need to lose a few pounds?

Also, consider whether there were aspects of your personality that drove him away. Were you always nagging him? Did you drop all of your own friends and hang around with him exclusively? You may have been crowding him.

If you have identified areas where you can change, you need to do them. It may take time, but if he is truly in love, break up won’t last.

But, you also have to be prepared to move on. Fortunately, any changes you make to win your ex boyfriend back will also help you attract a new guy. For instance, learning not to nag a man will help you keep any new boyfriend. And, your new more glamorous self will be sure to attract lots of attention.

Use the time between boyfriends to find out what you really want in a man as well. What was it that attracted you to your ex? Did these qualities hold on over time or did they annoy you after a while? Did you go for someone on the basis of looks only to find out that made for a very vain man? Did you like his sarcastic sense of humor only to find out that he turned it on you?

You should also use this time between boyfriends to figure out what you want in yourself. What can you improve – not for the sake of a guy – but to make the quality of your own life better? This may mean getting back in touch with your girlfriends, taking up a class, or going to church again.

Remember, love break up do happen. Sometimes you can get back together and sometimes you can’t. The important thing is to be able to roll with the punches and move on to the newer, better you.

The Best Getting Back Together Advice

The best getting back together advice is never black and white. It never says that in order to get back together with your boyfriend or girlfriend you need to do this is you must do that. Instead, it offers tips that you can try to help you get back together.

The reason it's never black and white is because the same methods won't work for every person. There are too many variables and too many different reasons why people might have broken up. People are just different and so the same things aren't going to work with every couple.

If you're trying to get back together there are some things that you can try and usually at least one or two of them will have better results than the rest. One of the best pieces of advice for getting back together is to make sure that you really want to get back together. While this might sound silly, it's something very important to consider.

Too often, the urge to get back together is instinctive and it's never really examined. Someone has broken up with you and you want them back. Something you had was taken away from you, and it's perfectly natural to want it back.

But it's also very important to make sure that that's what's best for you and that's what you really want. Sometimes we lose things that weren't good for us in the first place. And you have to consider that that's a possibility when it comes to this relationship. If you examine your motives carefully and you decide you really do want to get back together, then there are some things to try.

The first thing to do, and this is true no matter why you broke up, is to look at what you're doing and do something different. If you've been begging the person to come back to you, that approach is obviously not working. Stop it.

If you haven't been doing that then maybe a more aggressive approach is called for. This is true especially if you've been trying to get back together with the person for a long time. Do something completely opposite of what you've been doing and that will get their attention if nothing else. And getting their attention is the first step in getting them back.

Try to think of why you got together in the first place. Now compare that with your behavior today. If you were easy-going and not suspicious or jealous, have you been acting that way lately?

It's important to make them remember why they fell in love with you in the first place. Get back to that type of behavior and remind them why they want to be with you.

Another important piece of getting back together advice that can help you, is to simply treat the other person with extreme respect. Treat them with as much respect and politeness as you can, and it will impress them with your sincerity and remind them why they want to be with you.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Need Some Tips On Making Up With My Boyfriend

When making up with my boyfriend I tried to remember these tips that my older and wiser friend had given me.

Myself and my ex got back together so I hope they work for you too.

1) Men don't like chit chat: Generally speaking men don’t like to talk in depth about their feelings and forcing the issue will just cause them to clam up even more. So when you are trying to get back together, don’t force him to analyze what went wrong. If he behaved badly but is willing to apologize, accept it and move on.

2) Men can only concentrate on one thing at a time. This is really true so don’t try and fight it. Very few men can multitask and it is their genetics that are to blame so shouting at him is pointless. The sooner you accept that your man cannot listen to you while reading his newspaper or watching TV the better. Most of the time, he is not ignoring you on purpose. The more you try to understand that this is the way he is programmed the less arguments you will have.

3) Men like toys. The joke is that men never grow up and show it by still playing with toys. Most men love to build things and start DIY jobs. Not all of them like to finish these jobs which can cause problems at home. Let your man indulge his hobbies, within reason. You can spend time with your girlfriends while he is fishing or building a boat. By compromising like this, he will probably be much more willing to spend time with you doing things together that you both enjoy.

4) Don’t assume that your man knows that you want to make up with him. Men in general tend to be a bit slow in picking up signals especially about relationships. For this reason, you sometimes need to be very direct and tell them exactly how you feel. Men don't like games unless they understand the rules like in Golf or Chess. Us women change the rules on dating more often than men change their shirts so we need to give them a break if they get a little confused.

5) Have you heard the joke - "Why does it take loads of sperm to fertilize one egg? Because they refuse to stop for directions!" I know the men in my life would prefer to get lost, than admit defeat and stop to ask for directions. Generally men find it very hard to admit they are wrong. If you question what they say, they can believe you are implying they have done something wrong. This can cause problems in modern relationships as women are so used to being the boss at work and giving others directions.

I am not suggesting that women have to become door mats or defer to their partners. But a little understanding of genetics goes a long way to help resolve the question of making up with my boyfriend.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Relationship Psychology

No relationship is perfect, but it is possible to make your partnership more enjoyable for each of you. After all, relationship psychology is all about finding ways to maintain a balance that stops one of both partners from becoming disillusioned with the union. If you've already broken up with your partner, then using similar relationship psychology principles can also help you to get your ex back.

Relationship psychology is about teaching each person inside the relationship how to recognize destructive or unhelpful patterns that could potentially be driving your partner away. The unfortunate part about most couples is that they often believe the other person will think the same way as they do. In truth, men and women have very different ways of communicating those things they need or want.

Women need to remember that men place more value on actions rather than words. This means a woman who constantly tries to get her partner to address problems in the relationship by talking about the issues or arguing about bad behavior is almost certain to see an increase in those negative patterns.

Instead of talking or arguing your way through an issue, try using a more psychological approach. Men respond more positively to your actions. They want to know that they are capable of making you happy. A man who is constantly faced with an upset partner will begin to think there's nothing he can do to make you happy, so he'll withdraw even further from you, even to the point of breaking up.

However, if he's faced with a happy, confident partner who is a pleasure to spend time with, he's less likely to withdraw. In fact, he'll likely draw even closer because he enjoys being around you. Men in this situation will often find themselves doing whatever they can to make sure you stay as happy as you were on those occasions. If you find it difficult to raise your self-confidence, then try giving yourself a mini-make over or spend some time doing something you enjoy. When you feel good within yourself, you're more likely to radiate that confidence outwardly as well.

Men need to remember that women value slightly different emotional triggers than they do. Women want to know that the man they love places enough value on her to really listen to what she's saying. If you feel your wife or girlfriend is pulling away from you, then sit down and just listen.

Ask questions about what your partner has just said and then take notice of her responses. If men can learn to listen attentively without allowing their mind to wander off, their girlfriends will begin to feel more loved, which leads them in turn to develop into a good mood, which makes them happy and enjoyable to send time with.

These primary differences in relationship psychology between men and women are simple things you can do to help strengthen your existing relationship, but they'll also work equally well if you're trying to get your ex back.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Look For Warning Signs of a Break-up

Dont Be Blindsided. Look for warning signs of a break-up.

As much as you may want this relationship to work, you might be seeing some warning signs of a break-up looming in the shadows. You might be able to save it and at the worst you might just be prepared for it if you start looking for the signs and know what to look for. There are many things that may be indicating that a break up is right around the corner.

One thing that you might find yourself doing is walking on eggshells. If there has been any change or added tension in the air and you feel like you have to tread carefully with every word you say or action you take, then things might be getting bad. It may even be that they are starting to get easily angered and will blow up with the slightest provocation. Be sure that you don't stick around if it at all turns violent.

If you seem to notice an increase in the amount of criticisms coming your way that may also be a sign. Where there used to be nothing but praise, now there is nothing but critical remarks. It could be that you are doing everything wrong, but more likely it is that they are now looking at you through a set of lenses that sees you in a negative light for some reason. They begin to see you in a negative light. It might be they are looking for reasons to justify their desire to leave. Whatever you do, don't let this affect your self-esteem. It isn't you, it's them and there is probably nothing that you can do to change their perception.

Sometimes you will notice a difference in the way affection is shown to you. It could be anything from hugs with a pat on the back or a less attention paid to kissing. You will notice that the little love gestures that were so prevalent earlier are no longer there. There is less hand holding, less winks from across the room, and more space in between the two of you on the couch. Every relationship will go through phases where there is a little less affection shown, but when it is combined with other warning signs you might have trouble.

If your lover has a new group of friends that they are spending time around, it could mean trouble for your relationship. It could mean that they are now looking for some big changes in their life. You might be the next one so you will need to keep an eye on this. Sometimes it could be something resembling a mid life crisis and in many instances it could be that this new group of friends is having a negative influence on your partner and encouraging them to leave. Your love might get the feeling that you are holding them back. Again, don't take this personally as it has more to do with a phase that they are going through. It will affect you personally, but it isn't your fault.

Breaking up is not a fun thing, but it is a part of life for most people. Don't let yourself be blindsided by a break up. Keep an eye out for warning signs of a break up and you might be able to stop it from happening. At the very least you will be more prepared for it.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Surviving A Break Up There Is Hope

Are you in the process of surviving a break up? It may seem like there is no hope. But, really there is.

First of all, you have to decide whether the relationship is really over or whether it’s just a temporary situation. Some people find that their coupledom becomes even stronger after a hiatus.

But other times, you know that it is over and you need to go about mourning the relationship. Your ex was probably the person who you were closest to in the whole world. Now, you need to find people and activities to replace him or her.

Sometimes you can turn to friends and family members to discuss the situation. If they are sympathetic and allow you to do the talking that you need to do, this is an optimal situation.

Unfortunately, most people are consumed with their own situations. They have little patience for dealing with other people’s problems and concerns. While they may listen for the first couple of days, their basic tenet will be “get over it.”

If this is the case, you may want to consider going to a counselor. A therapist will help you work through the issues that caused your relationship to dissolve. Many people have found that a counselor is the best person to help you in surviving a break up.

At some point, you have to start to move on. One of the best ways to do this is to exchange all of the personal items you have with your ex. Most of the time, this means clothes, but there are other items which you keep at each other’s homes.

If there are things like toothbrushes that don’t merit an exchange, throw them away. If you have personal gifts that you don’t want to give back, box them up and put them away for the time being. You don’t want to have anything that reminds you of your ex lying around the house for the time being.

Then, start focusing on how you can improve yourself. Because you were part of a couple for so long, you referenced yourself as “we.” Now, it is all about “me.” And, that’s not a bad place to be in.

You can now do the things you want. She didn’t like gambling? You can now go to the guys’ poker night. He didn’t like chick flicks? Rent all the movies you missed.

And, start doing a self improvement campaign. Go work out. Take some classes. Join a hiking group.

Start to meet new people, particularly people who can be friends not lovers. These people will provide a valuable network for you now and in the future.

Finally, at some point, you have to put yourself back on the market again. Go to single’s events or check out online dating sites. When you find someone new who you really like, you know you will be finally over your ex.

And that’s how to go about surviving a break up.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Should I Get Back With Ex Girlfriend

Should you try to get back with ex girlfriend when you think you can’t be away from her? When you think you can’t live without her and your life is incomplete you may have a challenge on your hands. It isn’t an impossible challenge, though. It is something that you can do but it will take a lot of introspection and thought about the situation. If you think you might want to get back with ex girlfriend, you need to make sure it’s worth it.

If you are trying to figure what made you have to get back with ex girlfriend in the first place you need to ask your self some questions. What was the reason for the break up in the first place? If it was your fault then look closely at what it was that you did. Was it due to your selfishness? This is something that might be hard to do. Look at the actions you took. Were they the results of a self-centered person? If so, then what has changed? What makes you so sure that you are done being self-centered? Is this desire to get back with ex girlfriend a result of self-centered thinking?

Before you try to get back with ex girlfriend, you need to make sure that it is a mutually beneficial relationship or it has very little chance of succeeding. If it is just something to try and fill a void in your life and heart then it may not be the best for them. You may have to live with the consequences of your selfish actions. Don’t expect to get taken back with open arms. You just have to know that if it isn’t good for both of you, it might not have good or positive results.

If the reason that you broke up has more to do with her selfish actions, then why do you think that she has changed or will change? Look closely at her actions. If there is genuine remorse and a willingness to change, you might have a chance. You need to ask “is she just going to do this again?” If she has a pattern of acting out of selfishness in a way that is harmful to your relationship and to you then you probably don’t. If you have significant reason to believe that what she did isn’t going to repeat itself then maybe you should get back with ex girlfriend. You have to see that that she is done looking out for only her self-interest and is more interested in something that is good for the both of you.

In either situation, whether it was because of your selfishness or hers, or even both, you need to fully believe that the both of you can act in the best interest of each other. You can not expect this relationship to go far if either one of you is self-absorbed. If you truly believe that you both are done being self-centered and can really be focused on the relationship it may be a good thing to get back together with ex.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Please Help Me Get My Ex Girlfriend Back

How many times do men ask their friends how do I get my ex girlfriend back? Honestly, I thought it was a woman's prerogative to change her mind. Some men just don't know when they are onto a good thing and their reasons for ending relationships border on the ridiculous.

My male friends have finished with girls for:

1) wearing the wrong type of shoes! 2) Her mother 3) The new barmaid at his favorite bar smiled at him.

Now ok I know that a pretty face can turn any man's head and there is the dreaded notion that a woman may turn into her mother but come on guys - the wrong type of shoes? If women didn't date men because of the clothes they were wearing the human race would have died out long ago. Behind every well dressed man is a good woman- in early life his mother and later his wife!

I always tell my men friends that they need to make a list before they break up with their partners. On one side of the list, you put her good points. Do you find her interesting? Does she look after you? Does she cook for you? Does she laugh at your jokes? Are you attracted to her?

On the other side of the list, they can put the things that wind them up. Ok she may nag at little too much but then if you put the toilet seat down she might stop. She may not want more than a cuddle every evening but five times a week doesn't mean that she isn't caring enough.

Writing the good and bad points of your life together down on paper may seem like a cold approach but it is a very practical way of seeing what a great relationship you do/did have. You need to compare the two lists and decide if you should be breaking up with this woman. If you are doing it after the event, it also helps to clarify if you made the right decision to finish the relationship. Sometimes we regret breaking up as we end up feeling lonely. But loneliness is not a reason to get back together.

If you have dumped the lady in your life but now know it was the wrong decision you need to act fast. Great life partners do not grow on trees. She has shown that she will put up with you in all your glory - how many women would be mad enough to do that?

Take a leaf out Richard Gere's book and put some romance back into her life. Send her flowers - not a bunch of red roses but some of her favorites. Send her a handwritten letter telling her how much you love her and miss her. Book her favorite restaurant and treat her to a night out. In short, you need to treat her just like the princess you believe her to be and assuming you are not a complete disgrace, you won't have ask how to get my ex girlfriend back.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Saving A Relationship

Saving a relationship might seem like a hopeless task for some women. They worry endlessly that their relationship is falling apart and no matter what they do, their partner seems to be pulling further and further away from them. In an effort to pull their relationship back together, many people try to talk to their partner to find out what's wrong or what could be changed, but unfortunately these tactics can sometimes end up driving your partner even further away.

There are some psychologically proven principles you can put to good use for you when you're saving a relationship. Most relationships move through several phases as they progress. The initial phases of attraction are based on mutual enjoyment of each others company. Your intimacy levels are high and you both want to spend more and more time with each other.

The key to keeping any relationship at the same electrically charged emotional levels they were at when you first met isn't what you'd expect. The key to saving a relationship is attraction.

Many women begin trying to analyze every word their partner has said and the tone of his voice while he said it, trying to find a meaning behind why he's pulling away. They try to make sure they spend even more time with him, insist on knowing or finding out what he's doing when he's not with you or even forcing him to stop acting a certain way in an effort to make the relationship feel more stable.

In reality, these actions are driving you further apart instead of saving a relationship that was once great fun to be a part of. If you're serious about putting your relationship back on track and keeping it that way, then there are some things you'll need to think about.

1. Back to the Beginning

Think about what aspect of you your partner fell in love with when you first met. Most men will say they fell in love with a woman who was fun, happy, bubbly, confident, independent and smart. Many women will say they fell in love with a happy, confident, funny, sensitive guy.

When you first met, you would have been working hard to make sure your partner enjoyed the time he spent in your company. As you became more familiar with each other, you felt secure that you didn't need to work quite so hard. Ask yourself what's changed about each of you since you first met.

2. Attraction

As mentioned before, the key to saving a relationship is attraction. When you're attracted to your partner and he's attracted to you, it's natural you both want to spend more time in each other's company. As you become more familiar with each other, the effort it takes to look good and behave in a fun manner falls away.

Attraction isn't always physically based. Many people are attracted to confidence and independence. Think carefully about what attracted your partner to you originally. This is the key to making your partner fall in love with you all over again.

3. Communication

Effective communication when you're working on saving a relationship doesn't mean sitting down and talking over all the problems in the relationship for hours at a time. In fact, this could break your relationship even further apart.

You need to remember the type of conversations you had when you first met. Most frequently they would have been happy, light-hearted conversations that made you both feel good and made you both enjoy the time you spent together. It's natural for any human on the planet to avoid situations that make them feel bad, so try to find ways to communicate that make you both remember how much you enjoy each other's company.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

boyfriend love me again

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