Thursday, December 30, 2010

Break Up And Get Back Together Game

If the two of you are playing the break up and get back together game over and over and over again it is probably safe to say that there are issues that need to be addressed. One or both of you may have some type of commitment issues or maybe you just do not know how to communicate with each other effectively.

If you are tired of the game you can always just call it quits and try to move on or you can try to learn effective communication techniques and even learn to get over your commitment issues. There is someone for everyone and if you think you have found that someone then you need to figure out why you are playing these games.

Insecurities can play a big role in how we behave and my guess is that insecurities of some nature are behind the break up and get back together games that are being played.

Maybe you feel you are unlovable because of something that happened when you were young. Maybe he is trying to control you and keep you running back to him every time you break up. Maybe you both just like all the drama. Who knows, but if the games are getting tiresome and you want to stop and just have a normal relationship then my suggestion is, go see a couples counselor and get some help figuring out what the heck you two are doing to each other.

A good counselor can help you find the origin of the problem or problems that the two of you cannot seem to get around and help you work through them. If you really want to stay together you need to learn to break the old, hurtful dynamic of your relationship and form a new, more fulfilling one.

You have probably worn all your friends out trying to talk to them and asking for their help in figuring things out so much that when they see you coming they cringe in fear or run away screaming because the conversation always turns out to be all about you and the most recent break up.

Try talking to each other and try to agree to go see someone who can help on a professional basis. If you are all gung ho about learning how to have a better relationship and your mate is not then go by yourself. When they see the positive changes in you after you have been going for a while then they will probably give in and start going along with you. It is never too late to learn how to be a better partner in a relationship.

If you do decide to go together the counselor will probably give you couples homework. Exercises you can do at home together to strengthen your relationship and learn how to communicate on a different level. Trust will grow and insecurities will fade. They may not go away altogether but they will turn out to be so insignificant that they will no longer have a negative affect on your relationship. You will finally be able to stop playing the break up and get back together game and have a much more trusting, loving, fulfilling relationship.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

7 Tips For Getting Back Together After A Break Up

There are many people that try to get back together with their ex after they go through a break up. They realize that they did not want to actually break up with their significant other, and they want to rectify the situation.

Unfortunately, many fail to understand how to actually get back together with an ex. These seven tips for getting back together after a break up will help you to make all of the right moves, and will help you to get back together with your ex.

Limit your Texting and Calling

If you are trying to get back together with someone after a break up, you need to make sure that you limit your texts and calls to that person. While it is important to keep in contact with the person, it is also important to note appear desperate. The more you call and text, the more desperate you may seem.

Go Out with Friends

If you are trying to get back together with your ex, you want to make sure that you continue on with your life. Enjoy time with friends and family. When you spend time with those you care about, you will be in a better mood. A good mood is contagious, and could spread to your ex.

Make a Romantic Gesture

A single romantic gesture can be the one thing that you need to get back together with your ex. This romantic gesture will show them that you are thinking about them, and that you are willing to go the extra mile to get back together with them.

Give Them Space

It can be difficult to do, but giving space to the person that you are trying to get back together with is the most important thing to do. You need to make sure that you give your ex time to think, and time to miss you. If you are constantly trying to talk to them, they may feel as if they do not have the space to consider getting back together with you.

Talk to Mutual Friends

Talk to mutual friends about your situation. They may know more about the thoughts and feeling about your ex than you do, and they may put in a good word for you the next time they talk to your ex.

Ask for a Date

When you feel comfortable, you need to ask your ex out on a date. Taking your ex out on a romantic and thoughtful date will give you the best chance possible at a reconciliation.

Be Patient and Slow

It is important for you to take this entire process slow. If you try to push too hard, you may push your ex away. Allow for time to play itÕs part as you work to get back together with your ex after you have broken up.

At first, you may find it difficult to follow all of these different tips. Some of these tips will go against the emotions you may feel during the process. This self-control and self restraint will help you to improve your chances of getting back together after a break up.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Men Who Leave Their Wives

Many women have had to face the heartbreak of a relationship break up. It's never easy, and most would do just about anything to avoid a break up. Men who leave their wives have many reasons for doing so, but there are some things to keep in mind so you can hopefully avoid finding yourself in that painful situation.

One thing all women need to keep in mind, that might seem to go against everything they've ever heard or believed, is that men and women aren't all that different in what they want from a relationship, they just have different ways of getting it.

Men want their women to love, respect, and admire them. Most men want to feel like they are meeting all of the needs of their wives and girlfriends and they want their women to show a high level of appreciation. They want to be admired.

It's important for everyone to feel accepted for who they really are and feel like they are appreciated for all they do. Men, and women, will leave a relationship if these basic needs aren't met.

One common misconception is that men leave their wives because they have found another women who they are attracted to. While this may be true to a point, they were most likely already feeling like their needs weren't being met long before the 'other woman' came into the picture.

One of the difficult things for women to deal with is that most men either don't understand why they're feeling the way they are or they are unable, or unwilling, to try to discuss it and come up with a solution. They just know they are unhappy and are sick of feeling that way.

If you want to try to keep your relationship with your husband happy and healthy, it's important that you understand that even though he may express his needs in a different way than you he still has the same basic need to be loved and admired that you do. He wants to feel like he is your prince charming and is the most important person in the world to you. Meeting these needs will help ensure that your husband isn't one of the men who leave their wives.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Things Ive Learned From Women Whove Dumped Me

Things I've learned from women whove dumped me, have actually helped me save my current relationship. Why? Well, basically all partnerships are the same in that if you do not have certain components they will fail. It doesn't matter how good looking or how wealthy you are. Your relationship will fall apart.

If I hadn't been educated by my previous girlfriends I wouldn't have learned some valuable lessons. For example, I wouldn't know that I should always tell the truth even when it makes you a little uncomfortable. You see if you are always honest, then she will trust you. Trust is a huge part of a successful partnership.

I wouldn't know that I have to talk about how I feel. OK, I am not a saint. I cannot be like most women in that I still don't feel comfortable chatting for hours on end about my feelings. But I know that I have to explain how I am feeling and not just expect her to guess. I also need to ask her how she feels about certain things and listen to her response. My job is not to fix her life and it will wind her up if I try. My job is to be there to listen and act as a sounding board and only offer a solution if I have been asked.

Other things I've learned from the women who've dumped me is that if I tidy up around the house, I win brownie points which can be exchanged for sexual favors later. I have also realized that sending one flower a day for seven days is more romantic than a bunch of red roses. Making her breakfast in bed or having dinner on the table when she gets home from work tells her I love her louder than me just saying it.

I have also learned that just because she cuddles up to me when we are in bed doesn't mean that she wants to make love. Sometimes she just wants a cuddle and I need to respect that and not take offense. I have also realized that I can't just think she is the sexier than Beyonce. I need to tell her and not just when I want more than a cuddle!

It is funny how often previous relationships I was in broke up for similar reasons. I thought I was doing everything right but I invariably got dumped for ignoring my girlfriends or not trying to understand them. I would have continued being a failure at relationships if I hadn't invested in a couple of books and courses designed to help me understand what makes a great partnership.

Now I couldn't be happier and so too is my wife. Things I've learned from women who've dumped me helped me - how can they help you?

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Simple Getting Back Together After A Break Up Tips

So you've broken up and you want to get back together. Unfortunately, getting back together after a break up isn't as easy as following some checklists and doing all the right things. Sometimes you can do all the right things and still not get back together with this person that you love. It's not pleasant to realize this but it's something you have to be aware of.

However, there are some things that you can do to help you get back together after breaking up that do have good rates of success. They won't work 100% of the time. Because people are unique, the same things aren't going to work for every couple.

Of course, these tips have the benefit of being things that are simply good for you as well as the other person. Even if they don't work, they can improve the relationship that you will have. They can help you regain some self-respect and help the other person feel respected and cared for.

These are all important steps to getting back together after breaking up. And even in the worst-case scenario, if you don't get back together, you should have a new appreciation for the other person and they you. And you can feel better about yourself which will help in the next relationship.

The first step is to always treat the other person with as much respect and courtesy as you would a stranger you're trying to impress. Think of when you first got together and how kindly you might have treated the other person. And how have you been treating them lately, and just before the breakup?

Sometimes, the longer you're with the person, the more that politeness drops and even sometimes you're disrespectful. Go back to the kind person you were in the beginning. That will help them remember how much they enjoyed being with you.

Respect the person's space. If they broke up with you, then contacting them daily and begging them back is a bad idea. If you broke up mutually but have decided you want to get back together, simply explain to them calmly how you feel. Once they know you want them back, constantly reminding of that is probably only going to drive them further away.

When you see them, be affectionate and respectful. If the subject comes up you can express yourself. But if they're aware you want to get back together, don't hound them on the subject. Very often, giving someone the space they ask for can help them realize how much they miss you.

You can also be genuinely helpful and thoughtful. Instead of bringing up how much you want them back every time you see them, focus on their needs for a moment. See if they need anything or if there's anything you can help with, without mentioning getting back together.

These tips might not seem like they're going to speed up getting back together after a break up, but it's not always a fast process. Take your time and your ex's attitude is more likely to change.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Relationship Self Help - Can Save Your Relationship

There are plenty of relationship self help techniques you can use to bring the intimacy back into your relationship. Many people begin to feel that the intimacy levels in their relationships begin to fade over time. They mistakenly believe this means the love is gone, but the truth is that all relationships develop into a pattern of habits and rituals that can often make people feel more like roommates than lovers.

Instead of giving up on your relationship, try using some relationship self help techniques to bring the intimacy levels back to where they were when you first met.

1. Small Talk

Research has shown that couples who engage in regular small talk will experience less arguments and fights throughout their relationship. Connective small talk doesn't mean bombarding your partner with an hour-long diatribe about every single thing you did during the day.

Small talk is simply sharing opinions or observations from things you did through your day. It also means learning to avoid mono-syllable responses and actually showing a bit of interest in what each other is saying. Ask questions and respond to your partner with positivity.

2. Eye Contact

How many times do you really look your partner in the eye when you talk together? As relationships progress, many people tend to look in the direction of their partner's eyes, but they don't make eye contact.

When you first met, eye contact would have been high. Humans react to eye contact as being a positive way to build intimacy. As you become more familiar with each other, this decreases over time, which also leads people to believe the intimacy is dying.

3. Non-sexual Physical Contact

Learning to touch your partner and encouraging them to touch you too in non-sexual ways can help to increase intimacy. Give your partner a hug without expecting it to lead to anything further. Offer your partner a back massage or a foot rub and don't have an ulterior motive. Hold hands when you're out together. These simple forms of physical contact re-establish a level of intimacy and trust in each other that can be very effective relationship self help techniques.

4. Appreciation

Instead of focusing on the things that annoy you about your partner, try focusing on the things you appreciate about them instead. There must be things about your partner that attracted you to them originally, so spend some time each day focusing on the positive things and don't waste time concentrating on the annoying traits that everyone has anyway.

5. Time Out

Far too many couples fall into a pattern of trying to spend all of their time with their partner. They begin to feel as though their partner is somehow deserting them if they want to spend a little time doing something without their significant other. While it's normal to enjoy each other's company, it's also important to remember that everyone needs a little time out occasionally.

This could be something as simple as going out for a meal or a movie with friends or a coffee with the girls. Research shows that many couples improve their relationships when they display trust and encourage each other to spend a little time doing things they enjoy.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Should You And Your Ex Get Back Together - Rekindling The Relationship

Should you and your ex get back together? This is an age old question that every couple asks themselves when they come to the point of a break up. If you truly do want to get back together with your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend, then the first thing that you are going to have to do is spend a little bit of time soul searching.

You are going to have to decide whether or not it would be good for your ex get back together with you. Should you and your ex get back together? It is going to depend on what will make you truly happy.

This is also going to depend on whether or not you guys are going to end up walking down the exact same path as before. Can you address what problems occurred that caused the relationship to fail in the first place so that you can prevent it from happening again.

It is really easy for you to only think about the good times when a break up occurs. If you are going to answer the question, "Should you and your ex get back together?", you are going to need to be able to think about the entire situation objectively, including both the good times and the bad.

In reality, most relationships are definitely worthy of being saved. There are a few, however, that are unworthy of putting effort into attempting to save. So, should you and your ex get back together? It is going to depend on how much time you spent being happy with one another and how much time you spent fighting, disagreeing or having problems?

If the relationship was characteristically unstable, then it might be a good idea not to rekindle things.

So, should you and your ex get back together? Maybe not.

If you should get back together, then, you should know that pestering your ex or cramming yourself down their throat is not going to make things better. In fact, the best thing that you can do is step back, give your ex some time, and do your own thinking about the situation before you make anything happen.

Do not plead, argue or beg your ex to get back with them, because desperation is never attractive and will only make everything significantly more difficult for you.

Stop beating yourself up over breaking up with them, even if you regret doing whatever it was that led to the break up in the first place, because the past is the past and it is time to focus on the here and now.

Should you and your ex get back together? It's time to play it cool so that you can wait and see. Don't rush into anything, push anything or act with desperation, because this will undo your ability to rekindle things with your lost love.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Still In Love With My Ex Girlfriend - How To Get Her Back

Many men tell me 'I'm still in love with my ex girlfriend.' They want to know if there's anything they can do to get her back. The very first question to ask men who think they want their ex back is to ask what they've already tried.

A man who is serious about getting his ex girlfriend back will usually say he's repeatedly tried to tell her how much he loves her and needs her. He's reassured her that he'll change and the relationship will be different if she gives him a second chance. This kind of begging and pleading simply shows a woman that you're desperate and often drives them even further away.

Some men will try the opposite tactic to pleading and they'll turn to bribery. Buying her expensive gifts or taking her to fancy restaurants in an attempt to impress her won't work either. She may accept your tokens, but bribery isn't the way to win back love.

The vast majority of women want to be in a relationship with a man who will listen to what she has to say. Even if she's just making small talk, it's important to her that she's heard. This doesn't mean you have to agree with everything she says. You just need to listen.

When asked if they're willing to listen to their ex girlfriends, men who are trying hard to get back their ex often say 'I've tried to listen, but she doesn't listen to a word I say.' Sometimes when men think they're listening, what they're really doing is hearing the problem and then immediately talking back to offer a solution to fix whatever problem his girlfriend is having. He believes because she doesn't hear a word he says that she's not listening.

However, only hearing the parts of the conversation you think you can help her with and then trying to make her listen to you first is not the same as YOU listening to your girlfriend's needs. Women appreciate men who listen to them. Unfortunately, men communicate in slightly different ways, which could probably have been a contributing factor to your break up in the first place.

If you're still thinking 'I'm still in love with my ex-girlfriend and want to get her back', then practice listening. Ask her a question and then listen to what she says intently. Make a comment about her response or ask another question relating to her response, but don't try to fix it or dismiss it as unimportant. Simply listen to her.

Women assume that a man who listens to her really cares. It tells you that you understand and that you're really interested. The next time you receive an opportunity to get together with your ex, take some time to establish eye contact and really listen intently to what she says.

At first, you might find your ex-girlfriend is a little confused or guarded about your sudden change, but when she realizes that you are interested in what she's saying she'll begin to relax and realize that you do care. She'll immediately begin wondering why her feelings for you went away and they should come rushing back when she understands that you really do still love your ex and really do want her back.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Stop My Divorce

Divorces are at an all time high. Sometimes it seems that it’s easier to get a divorce than to get married.

People get hurt in divorce. The parties are forever scarred. Children, if there are any, never get over the hurt. Knowing this, you may be wondering “How do I stop my divorce?”

There are three steps to stopping a divorce.

The first thing that you have to realize is that saying you’ve changed does not mean you really have changed. If you are the person who is at fault in the relationship, it’s not enough to give lip service to the idea of change.

If you have been having affairs, for instance, it is going to take time for your partner to believe that you are no longer going back to your wandering ways. It is not enough to tell your partner that you’re not stepping out anymore. You will have to take concrete actions. As an example, you may need to allow your partner to “monitor” your activities by checking in with him or her on a frequent basis. If your job requires you to travel, you may have to look for a new job that keeps you close to home.

Other things besides affairs can mess up a relationship. For instance, if the wife’s spending habits are causing money problems which weaken the marriage, she may have to commit to cutting up the credit cards and living on a cash allowance. If the husband’s work habits keep him away from home too often, he may have to commit to being home by 6:30 every night no matter what. At the crux of this step is what is the most important thing in your life? If it is your marriage, you will make the necessary changes. But don’t just give lip service to them. Actions speak louder than words.

The next step is to avoid using emotional blackmail if you want to stop your divorce. Recognize that love is NOT enough to save your marriage. Telling your partner, “but I love you” in the heat of an argument will not win you any points. When you say “I love you” at inappropriate times, your partner is forced to say “I love you, BUT…” this weakens the emotional tie that love has between you.

Use the powerful “I love you” message when your wounds are mended, not at the heat of an argument.

You can’t use logic or guilt to change your partner’s mind. Arguing like this will only involve a spiraling argument. If you feel you must win, then you will lose.

Finally, don’t think that you can win an argument. Some people like to use their superior logic or argumentative skills to “prove” they are right and their partner is wrong. This may work in a formally scored debate, but in a marriage (which is scored on emotions not facts) it’s sure to fail. Instead of arguing, solve the problem. If your spouse brings up a fault in you, discuss possible solutions rather than argue back.

Are you wondering how to “stop my divorce?” Start by following the “stop my divorce” advice I’ve laid out in this article.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Tips on Getting Back Together After A Long Time

If you've been apart from the person you love and you plan on getting back together after a long time, the first thing you should do is slow down. That's probably the opposite of what you want to do when you're ready to get back together. But even if they are ready to do so as much as you are, take a careful look at your situation.

Depending on how long a period of time you've been apart, many things about each of you could've changed. You could be different people in many ways. And while this is not necessarily a bad thing, you do need to be aware of it.

During that long time, have you been with other people? Have they been with other people? How do you each feel about things you've done when you were apart?

If you're unsure, it's important to have a conversation about it. You don't want to get back together after a long time only to find that you're unhappy with the things that have happened between your breakup and now. They might assume you've been pining for them and not seeing anyone else. And you might assume the same.

While talking about other relationships might seem a bad idea, it's better to do so before you get back together and to have a surprise afterwards. And remember, it's not always a bad thing. Being with other people could have shown Bush them why they want to be back with you.

You also need to think about why you broke up in the first place. If it was something that one of you did, has there been forgiveness for that? Or are there still resentments one or both of you haven't been able to let go?

It would be terrible to get back together after such a long time only to find that one person or the other, or even both, is hanging onto a past hurt. Try to work those out before you make another commitment. That can help you keep this commitment much stronger and longer lasting.

If you're trying to convince the other person to get back together with you after a long time and they're not really on board, you can try wooing them in the same way you did in the beginning. Or if they wooed you, you can make it clear that you want them to try again.

There's no guarantee that they'll come around and want to get back together with you. But if you do everything possible to make it clear to them you want to, if there's any part of them that wants to, then it could happen.

When you're getting back together after a long time, you have an opportunity that other broken up couples don't. In many ways you can get a fresh start. Especially if you have very much time apart you can get to know each other all over again. Date just like you don't know each other, and try to do everything right from the very beginning.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Saving A Relationship 3 Tips For Doing So

Whether you've recently broken up, or you're afraid you're on the brink of a breakup you can take heart, saving a relationship is possible. You can reignite the flame that the two of you once shared. It won't necessarily be easy or fast, but if you're committed to making it work there is hope.

I've compiled a list of some of the things you need to do to salvage and repair your relationship. Keep these tips in mind when you are analyzing your relationship:

1. Do you really want to stay in the relationship? I know this may sound like a dumb question but sometimes when we think we want to keep our relationship what we really mean is that we're afraid of having to find someone new, or starting over. If you're brutally honest with yourself you can determine if you really want to continue the relationship or if you're just scared of being on your own.

Another part of this question is to determine if your partner really wants to work on the relationship too. Even if you decide that your relationship is worth saving, that doesn't mean your partner shares your conviction or will be willing to invest the time and effort to work on your problems.

2. Honestly evaluate what went wrong in your relationship. Again, this will need to be done by both of you. This can be the hardest part, it's always easier to blame someone else for the problems but it's tougher to own up to your part in the break down of your relationship.

Before you can repair it you need to know not only what is broken but why it broke. The two of you may even want to visit a couples counselor to help you objectively work through this phase. Sometimes having an objective third party in the room can help you both stay calm and face things you may not have been willing or able to face on your own.

3. Try to remember what drew you to each other in the first place. If you've been in a relationship for a while you obviously loved and enjoyed each other. So often in a relationship what happens is that the 'stronger' one (or the most selfish one) controls the relationship. They become the one who tends to take more than they give. The other partner will take on the role of the giver. Over time the 'taker' will get bored because the fun loving person they fell in love with has become a doormat and the 'giver' will get sick of not getting their needs met often enough.

If your relationship has fallen into this trap you both need to take a step back and remember what attracted you to each other. This might be a good time to not only remember but to tell the other person. Remind them why you fell in love with them, and vice a versa.

Saving a relationship will take time, work, and commitment by both parties, but it can be done. If you think your relationship is worth saving and your partner thinks so too, than by all means, follow the tips above and you can salvage your relationship.

Monday, August 16, 2010

advice on relationships

better relationships counselling love is gone marriage problems relationship advice relationship counseling relationship counselling relationship help relationship problem relationship problems relationship saver relationship tips relationships help successful relationships summer love unhappy relationship unhappy relationships relationship relationsip advice how to make relationship last relationship help relationships

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Tips On How To Get Your Ex Girl Back

Be Yourself:

The first good tip that you should follow on how to get your ex girl back is to simply be yourself. If you really want to have a shot at getting your ex back, you need to become the person that the ex was attracted to in the first place. Too many people in this situation would be tempted to act macho or clingy, both of which are terrible things to do to an ex that has already expressed her desire to have space from you. You need to act like your own honest self around your ex and make her see the great person that you are. Only when she truly realizes how much she misses having you around will you have a chance at getting her back.

Less Contact is Better:

Another good tip for you to follow is that less contact with your ex is better. This is actually another one of those tips that is counterintuitive for some people. A lot of people would be tempted to try and get into as many situations with their ex as possible in order to have the maximum exposure to them. This is something that is likely to push them out of your life for good. Your ex broke up with you and that means that they voluntarily decided that they wanted space from you. Give them that space and respect their privacy. Be nice and yourself to them when you do get a chance to see them and maybe they’ll start to pick up the things that made them want you in the first place.

Move On Slowly:

Another thing that you can do is to move on slowly. This is not something that’ll help you like the other tips on how to get your ex girl back. What it’ll do for you however is start to put your mind back into healthy mode. Obsessing after an ex is generally not a good idea, especially if the ex is the one that ended the relationship. Most of the time, they’re not coming back to you. If you move on slowly and start to realize that there are other fish in the sea, you will be much healthier mentally. That’ll translate into much more positive body language which in turn will be noticed by your ex the few times that you see them.

Don’t Blow Opportunities:

The thing about attempts to get your ex back is that you can undo weeks or even months of decent work with one stupid line uttered in the heat of the moment. If you do the things discussed above, your ex might start to take an interest in you again. If she does, make sure that you keep on doing those things. Be yourself, be honest and above all else do not pester them. If you suddenly start to become needy and false, your ex will spot the change a mile away and you will destroy all the progress you’ve made.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Relationship Rescue

Many people begin searching for relationship rescue tactics to try and bring back the spark they once had with a partner when the magic begins to fade. Over time, most relationships grow and change from the loving, romantic bond into a steady routine of daily rituals and habits. In some cases, those habits can make one or both people in the relationship feel as though they're being taken for granted.

Some people may find that they're arguing more often than they're enjoying each other. Others may find that there's nothing left to say to each other or they simply fall into a daily pattern where everything else seems more important than the relationship.

Your relationship doesn't have to be this way.

Often the first avenue many people try in order to re-kindle a relationship is to try and bring back some of the romance. Intimate dinners and provocative lingerie are nice physical attempts at bringing you closer again, but they don't address on the inner, emotional reasons why the relationship may be strained. On the other hand, endlessly talking about your relationship rescue plans and tactics could potentially drive a wedge between you and strain the relationship even further.

There are plenty of relationship rescue tactics you can use to bring that loving spark back into your relationships. Here are some relationship rescue suggestions you can try to help get you back on the right track.

1. Appreciation

When the initial heady, romantic stage of any relationship begins to settle into a comfortable partnership, many people lose sight of the things they originally appreciated in their partner. They begin to focus on the things that irritate them or annoy them or make them mad.

Unfortunately, focusing on all the negative aspects of your partner can often bring about a feeling of resentment, which can lead to arguments and eventually the destruction of the relationship.

It's important to try and find things in your partner that you appreciate. You might appreciate their kindness or their sense of humor or their intelligence or whatever attribute attracted you to them in the first place.

2. Awareness

Live each day of your relationship as though it was the last day you have with your partner. Accidents happen when we least expect them. While this doesn't mean it's going to happen to you, consider how you'd feel if something did happen and today really was the final day you had together.

What would you regret most? What would you wish you'd said or done or changed if you never had the opportunity to do them again?

Your answers to those questions should be the very same things you need to be doing with your partner each and every day. When you live each day as though it was your last, the romance will return almost immediately.

3. Communication

Your partner can't read your mind. Sitting in silence letting a problem brew until you're at bursting point won't make your partner see problems any more clearly and it can compound the negative emotions within you.

It's important to communicate with your partner about your expectations, your needs, your goals and ambitions, your disappointment and anger. Communication is about letting the other person know what you're feeling in a clear, non-blaming manner so that you can both be sure you're on the same page.

Relationship rescue is all about finding ways to be sure you understand and appreciate the little things you do for each other instead of focusing on the negatives. If you can communicate clearly and find ways to appreciate and support your partner, then your relationship rescue attempts will be rewarded.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Tips On How Can I Tell If My Boyfriend Really Loves Me

If you have the question of "how can I tell if my boyfriend really loves me" in your mind, there is no doubt you have a tinge of apprehension and uncertainty about his love. Trust me when I tell you; you're not alone with your doubts. Many girls have similar doubts, because the signals they are getting from their boyfriends, just aren't strong enough to really answer the all important question; "Does he really love me?"

I also want you to realize that it may well not be your fault that these doubts enter into your mind. Simply because your significant other may belong, to that 'herd', of men who have extreme difficulty in showing affection. Even when they are deeply in love, it is almost impossible for them to convey it openly or even overtly to you.

When you are with him, you may have a feeling that everything is all right. But once you are out of his sight, it looks as if he has completely forgotten your existence. But once these "doubts" enter into your thoughts, they can quickly become an obsession and consume you. And the end result can destroy your relationship; with someone who does love you. Therefore it's important for you to learn the skills of reading and interpreting your lovers signs; of his true love for you. The following are a few tips that will enable you to help you to resolve the doubts you have been experiencing

- When you are having a conversation with him, you should maintain eye contact. If he is serious about you and the conversation, he will also look directly into your eyes. You will quickly learn he's not being distracted by the other things going on around you both and it's a sure sign of his true feelings for you.

- If your beau puts your priorities before his, you can pretty well conclude that you are special to him and he cares deeply for you.

- Another sign you can look for if he is willing to discuss his 'personal life' openly with you or even obliquely. This shows that he holds you in very high esteem and he believes you will give your moral support and advice on solving the issues. Yes, he will have his own ideas to sort these issues out, he will respect your thoughts and perhaps implement your suggestions. And when a man does that you can bet, your are more than just a girlfriend.

- As you may know, a great many men have trouble remembering those "special days." A sure sign of true feeling for you is when he will try hard to remember those special days such as your birthday, the anniversary of your first meeting with him, etc. and present you with gifts that are unique. These gifts may be inexpensive but they will speak volumes of his love towards you.

If you observe that the behavior of your boy friend conforms to the above clues, you can conclude that he really loves you, though he is not the type who expresses it openly. These signs provide an answer to your question, "how can I tell if my boyfriend really loves me?".

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Long Distance Relationship Advice

Maintaining a healthy long distance relationship can be a challenge. It takes two mature people who are able to communicate in order to make it work. It will also take some sound long distance relationship advice, and that's where I come in.

In this article I've outlined some of the things that you can do to make your relationship not only survive, but thrive. I've also compiled a few of the most common problems couples face and how to avoid falling into the same traps in your relationship.

One of the first things you and your partner need to do to ensure the continued strength of your relationship is to make sure you are both on the same page. Make sure you agree on whether or not you have an exclusive relationship. If one partner thinks it's ok to date while you are apart and the other one is staying monogamous, the relationship is doomed from the start.

For the most part, a couple won't even contemplate a monogamous long distance relationship unless both parties feel the relationship has the potential to be a long term one. There is no sense making this type of commitment unless you both feel that the other person might be 'the one'.

Another thing you and your partner need to do is make sure you have good communication skills. When you are far away from each other for extended periods of time, and you can't have physical contact, you will have to rely solely on your communication skills to continue to build your relationship.

That is why long distance relationships, when they last, are some of the best relationships around. The couple has to learn to communicate effectively to make it work, and they don't get distracted by all the physical attraction. They are able to connect on a deeper level which can often lead to a more fulfilling relationship.

If you are an insecure person, though most people won't admit it if they are, you should avoid getting involved in a long distance relationship. Being in this type of relationship requires a great amount of trust, typically people who are insecure see a threat everywhere, even where there isn't one.

If you and your partner are overly suspicious, not only will your relationship be a constant battle, it will also be unlikely to work. No good relationship can be based on suspicion and insecurities.

You and your partner also need to be careful of the temptation to have a 'fling' with someone while away from your partner. Unless you both agree in advance that some extracurricular activity is ok (and if that's the case why bother pursuing a long distance relationship in the first place) than you should stay faithful to your partner.

If you want to maintain your long distance relationship you have to know ahead of time that it will be a challenge and you and your partner both have to be committed to making it work, but if you follow my long distance relationship advice you and your partner have a real shot of having a great, long term loving relationship.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Relationships - Break Up To Make Up

This is your guide: Relationships – Break Up to Make Up. The break up may be just the first stage in getting back together with an ex.

If you had been dating for any length of time, you and your ex had a lot invested in the relationship. You obviously loved and cared for each other. But something went wrong and one of you decided to call it quits. How you handle the relationship break up may have a lot to do with whether you can ever make up.

If you are the one initiating the break up, try to do it with love and compassion. Whether you are truly calling it quits or just wanting a time out, remember that this is a person who has been important to you and you have a responsibility to take his or her feelings into account.

It’s generally best to tell the person that you want to break up in a public place. That’s because people are less likely to embarrass themselves if others are around. Also, don’t draw the break up out. Just say your piece and leave.

Once you have broken up, leave the channels of communication open. Be there for your ex when he or she needs you.

Don’t play games with your ex. Some people suggest dating their best friend or flaunting a new date on your ex, but consider that if you ever make up, these things are going to haunt your new relationship.

If you have found that you want to get back together with your ex, consider the following:

· Tell them that you are interested · Be interesting yourself – take up new activities and make new friends · Try a new look – whether it is a new hair style or simply updating your grooming, your ex will notice.

Suggest that you meet your ex for lunch or some other non-romantic activity. During this time, you can bring up the positive memories you shared. You can also emphasize any changes you have made in your life.

If your ex gives you any indication that he or she is willing to give it a second try, don’t assume that you can start right back where you left off. Woo your boyfriend or girlfriend. Go out on romantic dates. Start by holding hands, not jumping into the sack.

Also, give your relationship time to heal from the break up. Don’t assume that your ex’s feelings weren’t hurt by the cooling off period.

Continue improving yourself. Don’t fall into bad habits just because you’ve got your ex back. Constantly strive to be the best boyfriend or girlfriend you can be.

That’s your guide to Relationships – Break up to Make up.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Should You Try Getting Over A Relationship Or Put Your Energy Into Getting Your Ex Back

When we split from a lover, we can either try getting over a relationship or try getting them back. It obviously depends on whether you still love your ex as to which one you chose.

If you do want your ex back, you need to make every attempt to achieve this. You and only you know whether he or she makes you happy and would make your life complete. Your family and friends may try to advise you but remember that they are not impartial. They love you and hopefully want what is best for you but sometimes people act with their own interests in mind.

If your friends are all single, they may have been jealous of your love affair and would prefer to keep you single. If they didn’t like your partner, they are not going to encourage you to get him/her back.

Couples, as we know, break up for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes there is no coming back from the split and you have to accept it. Often especially if it was caused by something trivial or a misunderstanding, you could salvage things if only one of you would swallow their pride and initiate contact. Usually this will have to be the man as society still thinks it is the man who should do the chasing. A woman who makes the first move can be seen as being desperate.

Examine your own feelings before you decide which option to choose. Do you want to get back with your ex, to dump them so they know how it feels? These are games for teenagers to play so if that is your motivation, do yourself a favour and move on. But if you really do believe this person to be your soul mate, you need to plan a way to get them back in your life.

Try enlisting the help of their family and friends. Now there is a fine line between asking for help and becoming a stalker so take it slowly. Just happen to be at the places these people hang out i.e. bump into them by accident and see how ms/mr ex is doing. Make sure you are looking good so that the reports back are favourable. If you haven’t slept for days, plaster on the makeup. You do not want it going back to your lover that you looked miserable and suicidal.

You could always try the direct approach and contact your former partner. Ask them out for a friendly drink or meal and see where it goes. You never know they could have been dying to make contact but were afraid that you would not entertain them. People are funny creatures –they will often let fear of the unknown hinder their future happiness.

Whatever you decide, remember that we only get one shot at life. It is not a dress rehearsal. Getting over a relationship or getting back with your ex are both achievable, the question is which one do you want to succeed at?

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Rebound Relationships How To Improve The Chances Of Success

People often say rebound relationships don’t work. I don’t agree as there are plenty of happy couples out there who met shortly after breaking up with someone else.

So what defines a rebound relationship? Usually it is where someone starts going out with another person very soon after leaving or being left by a former lover. If you have met somebody who seems to tick all the boxes you were looking for in a partner, I certainly would not dump them. Yes, they could dump you, but so could anyone new that you meet; so why worry about it. You could just as easily be the person they have been looking for.

Relationships break down for all sorts of reasons. It is actually more common for two people to grow apart rather than separate due to an affair or similar reason. If your current partner split from his/her ex, they did it for a reason. If they had been together for a long time, they probably grew apart. Or they may have realised that once the initial attraction had worn off, they were not compatible enough to sustain a long term relationship.

If your new lover has just recently rejoined the single scene, you do need to be a little careful. But you would proceed slowly when dating any new person; wouldn’t you? Try to find out why they split with their partner, but for heaven’s sake, don’t make them feel like they are being interrogated. Men in particular are very slow to speak about their feelings. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, do not jump to the conclusion that he doesn’t like you or find you attractive.

I would also advise against asking to see a picture of the former partner. You do not want to start comparing yourself to them and it is difficult not to do this when you know what they look like. If you are part of the same social circle, it could be even harder not to draw comparisons. If you don’t do it yourself, you may find some of your mutual friends do. Try to discourage/ignore these conversations as they are unhelpful. Nobody knows what happened between a couple other than those two people.

If you are the one on the rebound you need to be sure of your motivation for getting involved. Are you looking for a short fling or a long term love affair? Whatever you do, don’t get involved with another man to make your ex jealous or for revenge. It rarely works and it isn’t fair to play with the new persons emotions.

You may find, just like I did, that your rebound relationship never ends and in fact turns into the love affair of the century. We all need some more fun in our life so try to enjoy yourself with your new partner and see where it leads. Whoever says you should avoid rebound relationships is missing out on a whole lot of fun.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Marriage In Crisis Dont Bury Your Head In the Sand

Is your marriage in crisis? You need to act now and stop putting your head in the sand. Your problems are likely to become a lot worse if you neglect them. If your relationship is worth saving, putting some effort in now will be worth it in the long run; even if it makes you uncomfortable.

Not sure how to tackle your problems? All marriages go through rough spots but with a little bit of effort, respect and understanding most can be saved. All you need is the know how. How do you find that? Well you could book both of you in for some relationship counseling. But some people cannot talk to strangers so are better off taking advice from an internet dating site or better yet purchasing a course designed to help them save their marriage.

Is it worth the effort? Well only you can answer that but I am guessing that if you married this person, you loved them once and probably still do. Real life often gets in the way of our relationships. We are so busy running around trying to please our family, our boss and our friends that often our partner gets forgotten. That is a huge mistake. Your other half should always be number one on your priority list. You cannot have a great marriage unless both of you appreciate the other person and show this appreciation on a regular basis.

Often when couples start bickering it is a sign that both of them are frustrated. Making love may have become a distant memory. Sex may be a little word but it is very important to maintain intimate relations in any relationship. It is the glue that will hold both of you together. It may not be the same as it was in the early days when you first met but true intimacy develops over time and with a little patience and practice you can recapture that lost magic.

Communication is vital to make any partnership work but particularly a marriage. It is too easy to assume you know what your other half is doing or thinking. He or she may be under pressure at work or be concerned about the state of the economy and how it will impact on your life. They may be distracted but it doesn't mean that they have fallen out of love with you. It also doesn't mean that they have been unfaithful or are looking to leave your life.

So why not get a sitter for your kids and ask your partner out on a date. Go to a restaurant and sit down and chat. Don't talk about your kids, your finances or your family members. Pretend you have just met and are trying to impress each other. Slowly but surely you can revive that spark between you and working together can resolve any issues that are causing your problems.

Hopefully you will soon realize that rather than having your marriage in crisis, you can have a happy relationship with your current partner.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I went through a break up so I know the heartbreak you are feeling right now. I thought my life was over and I was never going to be able to get my ex back again after the breakup. Despite them turning against you, you still love them. Dealing with a

A break up causes a lot of pain and agony, especially if you felt that they were the person of your dreams. It makes it almost impossible to forget them. Everything you seem to do reminds you of the good times you had together. You can cry at the drop of a hat. Or see two lovers holding hands and suddenly feel the weight of a bowling ball in your gut for what you’ve lost. Hear a love song on the radio and feel crushing heartache. And if that isn't bad enough, you have to cope with the loss of friends and family that are on "their side".

All the years of dreaming and building it together, emotionally investing into it - only to see it crash all of a sudden. The distinct advantage when you make up, is that you get a second chance, while knowing what went wrong the first time. What if you could get your ex back? And in the process build a stronger love relationship than you had before? It happens a lot, and it can happen for you

Every hour you wait might only have them drift further apart from you. Time can be your biggest enemy and relationship counselling will be your relationship saver. You deserve to spend the rest of your life with the person you love. You deserve a second chance to make things right and the opportunity of getting an ex back.

Well, my hope was satisfied. Getting my ex back within a little over a month after getting The Magic of Making Up to bring back lost love. I owe my relationship help to The Magic of Making Up Don't give up on your relationships. Be taken by the hand and be shown the best relationship advice to get your ex lover back in your arms. Let me show you how to make your relationship last. Impossible Not To Work. Virtually Immediate Benefits Find out how...click here!

Monday, July 26, 2010

The Best Relationship Quotes I Know

I love reading relationship quotes and today I thought I would share a couple of my favorite ones with you. Where possible, proper credit has been given to the person who wrote or spoke the original quote. However in some cases that may not have been possible.

You know love funny quotes as I believe humour is a key ingredient in a great relationship. Some of the funny ones I like are:

"What can you say to a man who has just had sex? Anything you like as he is asleep".

Or for those male readers - "what is the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS?" "You can negotiate with a terrorist!"

Joking aside, this quote credited to Leo Buscaglia should be in all couple’s homes.

“Too often we under estimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around”.

As most of us know it is the little things in a relationship that can cause it to fail or blossom. It is easy to blame the other person in our relationship for our dissatisfaction but as Martha Washington said “I have learned from experience that a greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.”

Some relationship quotations are beautiful and sad at the same time. Such as the one from William Somerset Maugham (an English Writer) on unrequited love being "The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned."

While I don't think Colin Powell was talking about relationships when he said "None of us can change our yesterdays, but we can all change our tomorrows", it is one that we could all do with remembering. Too often we waste time and energy holding grudges against our partners for something they did in the past. It is too late to change it now so let it go once and for all. So long as it isn't a pattern of repeated behaviour it doesn't do anyone any good to remember it.

"Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much " Helen Keller. This lady was my idol when I was growing up. Despite being born blind and mute she achieved so much more than the rest of us often do. I believe that being part of a couple and then a family gives us the chance to be so much more. We need to appreciate the gifts we have. Our relationships would be a lot happier if we said thank you and I love you just a little more often.

As Mother Theresa is quoted as saying "There is more hunger for love and appreciation in the world today than for bread". Make sure your loved one knows how much you love and appreciate them today, to avoid a day when you wished you had listened to the relationship quotes.

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Best Way To Save Marriage Embrace Conflict

In many states, all a husband or wife has to do to end the relationship is state to the court that there are “irreconcilable differences” and the court will grant the divorce. But, in any marriage, there should be irreconcilable differences. The best way to save marriage is to embrace the conflict that is inherent in a close partnership between two people.

We often think of divorcing couples as the ones who screamed at each other all of the time. But if these couples can communicate their needs through elevated voices, they are actually doing better than the couple that avoids all conflict at the cost of expressing their needs and beliefs.

It is these silent couples who need to save marriage through embracing conflict.

While no one is suggesting that emotional and verbal abuse is a good thing for a relationship, couples who don’t acknowledge that there are problems and differences are actually more likely to split up according to Dr. John Gottman, a researcher who runs the Love Lab.

So, if you want to save a marriage, you need to learn how to communicate and express your differences. Here are some tips for communication in marriage:

· Allow enough time for proper communication. If you are not spending enough time together to air your differences and share your strengths, you will find your relationship is in trouble. Work on building couple’s time back into your life. For instance, make a point of eating dinner together several times a week or going out on a date very week.

· Really listen when your partner speaks. It is amazing how much we tune out our partners. He or she may be telling you what you need to know. But, if you are not listening, it is all in vain.

· Find out why your partner is annoyed. When your husband or wife is being particularly grumpy, find out what is really going on. Sometimes, it may be that you have done something that has annoyed them. Other times, it may be that something completely unrelated has occurred. But you won’t know unless you ask.

· Get inside his or her world. As couples begin to drift apart, they start to live in separate worlds. When you make an attempt to get inside his or her world, you may just save the marriage.

· Stop judging. Express what needs you have and listen to your spouse’s needs. But, don’t be quick to judge or criticize.

· Be honest. One of the biggest problems for people who don’t like conflict is that they can’t be honest about what they want and need. When you start to express honest opinions about things, you will begin to save marriage.

Marriage is hard work. But, if it is worth it to you to save marriage, you will do the work. That means more communication, and yes, more conflict.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

Many people find that once the relationship has broken up, there may still be some signs that your ex wants you back. Sometimes people end relationships for the wrong reasons. This could be because of an argument that led to them saying something they didn't really mean, or it could be because they ended up taking the relationship for granted.

If your relationship has ended and you're wondering if those signals you're receiving are signs your ex wants you back, then there are some things you should think about. There are some men who only want to keep in touch so they can get what they need from you when they want it. However, there are some specific signs that your ex wants you back instead of just wanting to get what he can get.

It's important that you distinguish between real signs and things you hope to see. Some women love their partners so much their imagination helps them to visualize their partner making positive signals to get them back. While it's easy to see the positive in anything he does when you're wanting him back, you must remember that some signals will be him just trying to get whatever he can get from you, while there will be definite clear signals that tell you he really wants to fix the relationship and start over.

Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

Perhaps the biggest sign your ex wants you back is when he begins trying to communicate with you frequently. You start to notice you're getting phone calls or text messages and emails more regularly and he seems to want to just keep in touch. This is often a good sign that he wants to test the waters to see if you're still angry or if you're willing to talk.

If you notice during conversations with him that he keeps telling you about things he's doing that are new or different, these could be signs that he's trying to impress you by improving himself. In his mind, he'd be thinking he wasn't good enough to make the relationship work last time, so working to find ways to impress you, such as joining a gym or taking self-help classes or aiming at a new promotion at work or trying to earn more money could be ways for him to try and prove to you that he's a better catch now.

Another way to recognize signs your ex wants you back could be listening carefully to the questions he asks you when you catch up again. If he seems to be very interested in what you're doing and who you spend your time with, then he still has some interest in you. He's testing the waters to be sure you don't have a new guy on the scene.

The biggest possible signs your ex wants you back are unmistakable, yet many women miss them! When he says to you 'I miss you and I want you back', this is an absolutely certain sign he really wants to come back. It's surprising how many men tell their ex-girlfriends this, yet the emotionally worried woman simply doesn't hear it – or worse, she doesn't believe it. She thinks it's a trick or that there's a catch.

The truth is, if he looks you in the eye and tells you he wants to come back, then don't quiz him or accuse him or be doubtful about his signs. Smile. Be the happy, confident person he fell in love with and that he enjoys spending time with. After all, it's the positive signs your ex wants you back that you should be looking for.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Love Break Up Getting Through A Distressing Situation

Are you in love? Break up with your boyfriend can be the most devastating thing in your life if you were truly in love. How can you get through this situation?

First of all, you need to determine whether the relationship is truly over. There are a number of ways to get an ex boyfriend back.

You don’t want to chase him. You want to give him some space, especially in the first days after a break up. So, don’t pester him with calls or texts. Instead, let him call you.

If he doesn’t contact you right away, don’t stress about it. Instead, after about a week, call him yourself. But, keep it casual. Don’t go all weepy on him and ask him to get back together. Also, keep it short. Five or ten minutes should suffice.

If you are still in love after this amount of time, you need to consider making more fundamental changes.

For instance, do you need a makeover? Would a new hairstyle or new clothes attract him back? Do you need to lose a few pounds?

Also, consider whether there were aspects of your personality that drove him away. Were you always nagging him? Did you drop all of your own friends and hang around with him exclusively? You may have been crowding him.

If you have identified areas where you can change, you need to do them. It may take time, but if he is truly in love, break up won’t last.

But, you also have to be prepared to move on. Fortunately, any changes you make to win your ex boyfriend back will also help you attract a new guy. For instance, learning not to nag a man will help you keep any new boyfriend. And, your new more glamorous self will be sure to attract lots of attention.

Use the time between boyfriends to find out what you really want in a man as well. What was it that attracted you to your ex? Did these qualities hold on over time or did they annoy you after a while? Did you go for someone on the basis of looks only to find out that made for a very vain man? Did you like his sarcastic sense of humor only to find out that he turned it on you?

You should also use this time between boyfriends to figure out what you want in yourself. What can you improve – not for the sake of a guy – but to make the quality of your own life better? This may mean getting back in touch with your girlfriends, taking up a class, or going to church again.

Remember, love break up do happen. Sometimes you can get back together and sometimes you can’t. The important thing is to be able to roll with the punches and move on to the newer, better you.

The Best Getting Back Together Advice

The best getting back together advice is never black and white. It never says that in order to get back together with your boyfriend or girlfriend you need to do this is you must do that. Instead, it offers tips that you can try to help you get back together.

The reason it's never black and white is because the same methods won't work for every person. There are too many variables and too many different reasons why people might have broken up. People are just different and so the same things aren't going to work with every couple.

If you're trying to get back together there are some things that you can try and usually at least one or two of them will have better results than the rest. One of the best pieces of advice for getting back together is to make sure that you really want to get back together. While this might sound silly, it's something very important to consider.

Too often, the urge to get back together is instinctive and it's never really examined. Someone has broken up with you and you want them back. Something you had was taken away from you, and it's perfectly natural to want it back.

But it's also very important to make sure that that's what's best for you and that's what you really want. Sometimes we lose things that weren't good for us in the first place. And you have to consider that that's a possibility when it comes to this relationship. If you examine your motives carefully and you decide you really do want to get back together, then there are some things to try.

The first thing to do, and this is true no matter why you broke up, is to look at what you're doing and do something different. If you've been begging the person to come back to you, that approach is obviously not working. Stop it.

If you haven't been doing that then maybe a more aggressive approach is called for. This is true especially if you've been trying to get back together with the person for a long time. Do something completely opposite of what you've been doing and that will get their attention if nothing else. And getting their attention is the first step in getting them back.

Try to think of why you got together in the first place. Now compare that with your behavior today. If you were easy-going and not suspicious or jealous, have you been acting that way lately?

It's important to make them remember why they fell in love with you in the first place. Get back to that type of behavior and remind them why they want to be with you.

Another important piece of getting back together advice that can help you, is to simply treat the other person with extreme respect. Treat them with as much respect and politeness as you can, and it will impress them with your sincerity and remind them why they want to be with you.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Need Some Tips On Making Up With My Boyfriend

When making up with my boyfriend I tried to remember these tips that my older and wiser friend had given me.

Myself and my ex got back together so I hope they work for you too.

1) Men don't like chit chat: Generally speaking men don’t like to talk in depth about their feelings and forcing the issue will just cause them to clam up even more. So when you are trying to get back together, don’t force him to analyze what went wrong. If he behaved badly but is willing to apologize, accept it and move on.

2) Men can only concentrate on one thing at a time. This is really true so don’t try and fight it. Very few men can multitask and it is their genetics that are to blame so shouting at him is pointless. The sooner you accept that your man cannot listen to you while reading his newspaper or watching TV the better. Most of the time, he is not ignoring you on purpose. The more you try to understand that this is the way he is programmed the less arguments you will have.

3) Men like toys. The joke is that men never grow up and show it by still playing with toys. Most men love to build things and start DIY jobs. Not all of them like to finish these jobs which can cause problems at home. Let your man indulge his hobbies, within reason. You can spend time with your girlfriends while he is fishing or building a boat. By compromising like this, he will probably be much more willing to spend time with you doing things together that you both enjoy.

4) Don’t assume that your man knows that you want to make up with him. Men in general tend to be a bit slow in picking up signals especially about relationships. For this reason, you sometimes need to be very direct and tell them exactly how you feel. Men don't like games unless they understand the rules like in Golf or Chess. Us women change the rules on dating more often than men change their shirts so we need to give them a break if they get a little confused.

5) Have you heard the joke - "Why does it take loads of sperm to fertilize one egg? Because they refuse to stop for directions!" I know the men in my life would prefer to get lost, than admit defeat and stop to ask for directions. Generally men find it very hard to admit they are wrong. If you question what they say, they can believe you are implying they have done something wrong. This can cause problems in modern relationships as women are so used to being the boss at work and giving others directions.

I am not suggesting that women have to become door mats or defer to their partners. But a little understanding of genetics goes a long way to help resolve the question of making up with my boyfriend.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Relationship Psychology

No relationship is perfect, but it is possible to make your partnership more enjoyable for each of you. After all, relationship psychology is all about finding ways to maintain a balance that stops one of both partners from becoming disillusioned with the union. If you've already broken up with your partner, then using similar relationship psychology principles can also help you to get your ex back.

Relationship psychology is about teaching each person inside the relationship how to recognize destructive or unhelpful patterns that could potentially be driving your partner away. The unfortunate part about most couples is that they often believe the other person will think the same way as they do. In truth, men and women have very different ways of communicating those things they need or want.

Women need to remember that men place more value on actions rather than words. This means a woman who constantly tries to get her partner to address problems in the relationship by talking about the issues or arguing about bad behavior is almost certain to see an increase in those negative patterns.

Instead of talking or arguing your way through an issue, try using a more psychological approach. Men respond more positively to your actions. They want to know that they are capable of making you happy. A man who is constantly faced with an upset partner will begin to think there's nothing he can do to make you happy, so he'll withdraw even further from you, even to the point of breaking up.

However, if he's faced with a happy, confident partner who is a pleasure to spend time with, he's less likely to withdraw. In fact, he'll likely draw even closer because he enjoys being around you. Men in this situation will often find themselves doing whatever they can to make sure you stay as happy as you were on those occasions. If you find it difficult to raise your self-confidence, then try giving yourself a mini-make over or spend some time doing something you enjoy. When you feel good within yourself, you're more likely to radiate that confidence outwardly as well.

Men need to remember that women value slightly different emotional triggers than they do. Women want to know that the man they love places enough value on her to really listen to what she's saying. If you feel your wife or girlfriend is pulling away from you, then sit down and just listen.

Ask questions about what your partner has just said and then take notice of her responses. If men can learn to listen attentively without allowing their mind to wander off, their girlfriends will begin to feel more loved, which leads them in turn to develop into a good mood, which makes them happy and enjoyable to send time with.

These primary differences in relationship psychology between men and women are simple things you can do to help strengthen your existing relationship, but they'll also work equally well if you're trying to get your ex back.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Look For Warning Signs of a Break-up

Dont Be Blindsided. Look for warning signs of a break-up.

As much as you may want this relationship to work, you might be seeing some warning signs of a break-up looming in the shadows. You might be able to save it and at the worst you might just be prepared for it if you start looking for the signs and know what to look for. There are many things that may be indicating that a break up is right around the corner.

One thing that you might find yourself doing is walking on eggshells. If there has been any change or added tension in the air and you feel like you have to tread carefully with every word you say or action you take, then things might be getting bad. It may even be that they are starting to get easily angered and will blow up with the slightest provocation. Be sure that you don't stick around if it at all turns violent.

If you seem to notice an increase in the amount of criticisms coming your way that may also be a sign. Where there used to be nothing but praise, now there is nothing but critical remarks. It could be that you are doing everything wrong, but more likely it is that they are now looking at you through a set of lenses that sees you in a negative light for some reason. They begin to see you in a negative light. It might be they are looking for reasons to justify their desire to leave. Whatever you do, don't let this affect your self-esteem. It isn't you, it's them and there is probably nothing that you can do to change their perception.

Sometimes you will notice a difference in the way affection is shown to you. It could be anything from hugs with a pat on the back or a less attention paid to kissing. You will notice that the little love gestures that were so prevalent earlier are no longer there. There is less hand holding, less winks from across the room, and more space in between the two of you on the couch. Every relationship will go through phases where there is a little less affection shown, but when it is combined with other warning signs you might have trouble.

If your lover has a new group of friends that they are spending time around, it could mean trouble for your relationship. It could mean that they are now looking for some big changes in their life. You might be the next one so you will need to keep an eye on this. Sometimes it could be something resembling a mid life crisis and in many instances it could be that this new group of friends is having a negative influence on your partner and encouraging them to leave. Your love might get the feeling that you are holding them back. Again, don't take this personally as it has more to do with a phase that they are going through. It will affect you personally, but it isn't your fault.

Breaking up is not a fun thing, but it is a part of life for most people. Don't let yourself be blindsided by a break up. Keep an eye out for warning signs of a break up and you might be able to stop it from happening. At the very least you will be more prepared for it.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Surviving A Break Up There Is Hope

Are you in the process of surviving a break up? It may seem like there is no hope. But, really there is.

First of all, you have to decide whether the relationship is really over or whether it’s just a temporary situation. Some people find that their coupledom becomes even stronger after a hiatus.

But other times, you know that it is over and you need to go about mourning the relationship. Your ex was probably the person who you were closest to in the whole world. Now, you need to find people and activities to replace him or her.

Sometimes you can turn to friends and family members to discuss the situation. If they are sympathetic and allow you to do the talking that you need to do, this is an optimal situation.

Unfortunately, most people are consumed with their own situations. They have little patience for dealing with other people’s problems and concerns. While they may listen for the first couple of days, their basic tenet will be “get over it.”

If this is the case, you may want to consider going to a counselor. A therapist will help you work through the issues that caused your relationship to dissolve. Many people have found that a counselor is the best person to help you in surviving a break up.

At some point, you have to start to move on. One of the best ways to do this is to exchange all of the personal items you have with your ex. Most of the time, this means clothes, but there are other items which you keep at each other’s homes.

If there are things like toothbrushes that don’t merit an exchange, throw them away. If you have personal gifts that you don’t want to give back, box them up and put them away for the time being. You don’t want to have anything that reminds you of your ex lying around the house for the time being.

Then, start focusing on how you can improve yourself. Because you were part of a couple for so long, you referenced yourself as “we.” Now, it is all about “me.” And, that’s not a bad place to be in.

You can now do the things you want. She didn’t like gambling? You can now go to the guys’ poker night. He didn’t like chick flicks? Rent all the movies you missed.

And, start doing a self improvement campaign. Go work out. Take some classes. Join a hiking group.

Start to meet new people, particularly people who can be friends not lovers. These people will provide a valuable network for you now and in the future.

Finally, at some point, you have to put yourself back on the market again. Go to single’s events or check out online dating sites. When you find someone new who you really like, you know you will be finally over your ex.

And that’s how to go about surviving a break up.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Should I Get Back With Ex Girlfriend

Should you try to get back with ex girlfriend when you think you can’t be away from her? When you think you can’t live without her and your life is incomplete you may have a challenge on your hands. It isn’t an impossible challenge, though. It is something that you can do but it will take a lot of introspection and thought about the situation. If you think you might want to get back with ex girlfriend, you need to make sure it’s worth it.

If you are trying to figure what made you have to get back with ex girlfriend in the first place you need to ask your self some questions. What was the reason for the break up in the first place? If it was your fault then look closely at what it was that you did. Was it due to your selfishness? This is something that might be hard to do. Look at the actions you took. Were they the results of a self-centered person? If so, then what has changed? What makes you so sure that you are done being self-centered? Is this desire to get back with ex girlfriend a result of self-centered thinking?

Before you try to get back with ex girlfriend, you need to make sure that it is a mutually beneficial relationship or it has very little chance of succeeding. If it is just something to try and fill a void in your life and heart then it may not be the best for them. You may have to live with the consequences of your selfish actions. Don’t expect to get taken back with open arms. You just have to know that if it isn’t good for both of you, it might not have good or positive results.

If the reason that you broke up has more to do with her selfish actions, then why do you think that she has changed or will change? Look closely at her actions. If there is genuine remorse and a willingness to change, you might have a chance. You need to ask “is she just going to do this again?” If she has a pattern of acting out of selfishness in a way that is harmful to your relationship and to you then you probably don’t. If you have significant reason to believe that what she did isn’t going to repeat itself then maybe you should get back with ex girlfriend. You have to see that that she is done looking out for only her self-interest and is more interested in something that is good for the both of you.

In either situation, whether it was because of your selfishness or hers, or even both, you need to fully believe that the both of you can act in the best interest of each other. You can not expect this relationship to go far if either one of you is self-absorbed. If you truly believe that you both are done being self-centered and can really be focused on the relationship it may be a good thing to get back together with ex.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Please Help Me Get My Ex Girlfriend Back

How many times do men ask their friends how do I get my ex girlfriend back? Honestly, I thought it was a woman's prerogative to change her mind. Some men just don't know when they are onto a good thing and their reasons for ending relationships border on the ridiculous.

My male friends have finished with girls for:

1) wearing the wrong type of shoes! 2) Her mother 3) The new barmaid at his favorite bar smiled at him.

Now ok I know that a pretty face can turn any man's head and there is the dreaded notion that a woman may turn into her mother but come on guys - the wrong type of shoes? If women didn't date men because of the clothes they were wearing the human race would have died out long ago. Behind every well dressed man is a good woman- in early life his mother and later his wife!

I always tell my men friends that they need to make a list before they break up with their partners. On one side of the list, you put her good points. Do you find her interesting? Does she look after you? Does she cook for you? Does she laugh at your jokes? Are you attracted to her?

On the other side of the list, they can put the things that wind them up. Ok she may nag at little too much but then if you put the toilet seat down she might stop. She may not want more than a cuddle every evening but five times a week doesn't mean that she isn't caring enough.

Writing the good and bad points of your life together down on paper may seem like a cold approach but it is a very practical way of seeing what a great relationship you do/did have. You need to compare the two lists and decide if you should be breaking up with this woman. If you are doing it after the event, it also helps to clarify if you made the right decision to finish the relationship. Sometimes we regret breaking up as we end up feeling lonely. But loneliness is not a reason to get back together.

If you have dumped the lady in your life but now know it was the wrong decision you need to act fast. Great life partners do not grow on trees. She has shown that she will put up with you in all your glory - how many women would be mad enough to do that?

Take a leaf out Richard Gere's book and put some romance back into her life. Send her flowers - not a bunch of red roses but some of her favorites. Send her a handwritten letter telling her how much you love her and miss her. Book her favorite restaurant and treat her to a night out. In short, you need to treat her just like the princess you believe her to be and assuming you are not a complete disgrace, you won't have ask how to get my ex girlfriend back.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Saving A Relationship

Saving a relationship might seem like a hopeless task for some women. They worry endlessly that their relationship is falling apart and no matter what they do, their partner seems to be pulling further and further away from them. In an effort to pull their relationship back together, many people try to talk to their partner to find out what's wrong or what could be changed, but unfortunately these tactics can sometimes end up driving your partner even further away.

There are some psychologically proven principles you can put to good use for you when you're saving a relationship. Most relationships move through several phases as they progress. The initial phases of attraction are based on mutual enjoyment of each others company. Your intimacy levels are high and you both want to spend more and more time with each other.

The key to keeping any relationship at the same electrically charged emotional levels they were at when you first met isn't what you'd expect. The key to saving a relationship is attraction.

Many women begin trying to analyze every word their partner has said and the tone of his voice while he said it, trying to find a meaning behind why he's pulling away. They try to make sure they spend even more time with him, insist on knowing or finding out what he's doing when he's not with you or even forcing him to stop acting a certain way in an effort to make the relationship feel more stable.

In reality, these actions are driving you further apart instead of saving a relationship that was once great fun to be a part of. If you're serious about putting your relationship back on track and keeping it that way, then there are some things you'll need to think about.

1. Back to the Beginning

Think about what aspect of you your partner fell in love with when you first met. Most men will say they fell in love with a woman who was fun, happy, bubbly, confident, independent and smart. Many women will say they fell in love with a happy, confident, funny, sensitive guy.

When you first met, you would have been working hard to make sure your partner enjoyed the time he spent in your company. As you became more familiar with each other, you felt secure that you didn't need to work quite so hard. Ask yourself what's changed about each of you since you first met.

2. Attraction

As mentioned before, the key to saving a relationship is attraction. When you're attracted to your partner and he's attracted to you, it's natural you both want to spend more time in each other's company. As you become more familiar with each other, the effort it takes to look good and behave in a fun manner falls away.

Attraction isn't always physically based. Many people are attracted to confidence and independence. Think carefully about what attracted your partner to you originally. This is the key to making your partner fall in love with you all over again.

3. Communication

Effective communication when you're working on saving a relationship doesn't mean sitting down and talking over all the problems in the relationship for hours at a time. In fact, this could break your relationship even further apart.

You need to remember the type of conversations you had when you first met. Most frequently they would have been happy, light-hearted conversations that made you both feel good and made you both enjoy the time you spent together. It's natural for any human on the planet to avoid situations that make them feel bad, so try to find ways to communicate that make you both remember how much you enjoy each other's company.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

boyfriend love me again

boyfriend to love me again can he love me again can i get my ex to love me again can i get my husband to love me again can i make him fall in love with me again can i make him love me again can i make my husband love me again can i make my wife love me again can my husband love me again can my wife love me again can she love me again get her to love me again get him to love me again get husband to love me again get my husband to fall in love with me again get my husband to love me again get my wife to love me again how can i get him to love me again how can i get my boyfriend to love me again how can i get my ex to love me again how can i get my girlfriend to love me again how can i get my husband to love me again how can i get my wife to love me again how do i get her to love me again how do i get him to love me again how do i get my ex to love me again how do i get my husband to love me again how do i get my wife to love me again how to get her to love me again how to get him to love me again how to get my boyfriend to love me again how to get my ex boyfriend to love me again how to get my ex girlfriend to love me again how to get my ex to love me again how to get my girlfriend to love me again how to get my husband to love me again how to get my wife to love me again how to get wife to love me again how to make her fall in love with me again how to make him fall in love with me again how to make him love me again how to make husband fall in love with me again how to make my boyfriend love me again how to make my ex love me again how to make my girlfriend love me again how to make my husband love me again how to make my wife love me again husband love me again i want him to love me again i want my husband to love me again i want my wife to love me again make her fall in love with me again make him fall in love with me again make him love me again make husband love me again make my boyfriend love me again make my ex love me again make my girlfriend fall in love with me again make my girlfriend love me again make my husband fall in love with me again make my husband love me again make my wife fall in love with me again make my wife love me again make you fall in love with me again will he ever love me again will he love me again will my wife ever love me again will my wife love me again will she ever love me again will she love me again

Monday, June 28, 2010

Is Your Marriage In Crisis

Is your marriage in crisis? Would you know it if it was? Do you recognize the warning signs? A marriage in crisis can sometimes disguise itself as a normal but slightly boring marriage until it’s too late to change it and save it.

You have to pay attention to all the signs of health in your marriage to make sure your partnership is going strong. First, look at how often you have sex. While sex isn’t the whole point of the marriage—it’s much more important than just that—it’s a crucial part of a healthy marriage.

A marriage in crisis is usually pretty easy to spot by looking at your sex lives. Do you have sex infrequently? Is it a big, scheduled deal when you do have sex? Have you stopped having sex spontaneously just when you feel like it?

When sex becomes a scheduled activity, a marriage can certainly recover. In fact, most marriages go through a phase very much like that when a baby is born. Each child makes it more and more difficult to find the time to spend with our partner over a meal or before leaving for work, let alone finding a spare hour to make love.

But a marriage in crisis never breaks out of that pattern. Instead, even when the time is there the partners don’t have spontaneous sex. Usually there’s very little physical affection shown during the day either. People in love and happy to be together tend to hug and kiss different times through the day.

A loving couple will often touch each other just in passing. One will give the other a fast kiss on the cheek or forehead for no reason. Does this still happen in your marriage? Do you ever sneak a quick pinch or pat on the bottom or a sexy look in the middle of the day?

When these things start to disappear, it can be a sign that the marriage is in trouble. The other thing that goes in a very obvious way is common courtesy. When you say “thank you,” “excuse me,” and “please,” throughout your day to strangers more than you say them to your partner, something’s wrong.

We take our partners for granted in this way, and eventually this leads to a sort of coldness between people. There is simply no reason not to be affectionate and thank our partners (and say please) during the course of everyday life.

The good news is that if you’re seeing these warning signs, you can start working right now to correct them. And you don’t have to make a fanfare about it or announce the change. Simply change what you do.

Make a point of giving affection and unexpected kisses. Be very polite again, and say please and thank you, even when it’s just the two of you. Make time for making love. Do these things and your marriage in crisis could soon be back on track and you could be happier than ever.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Saving A Relationship The Easy Way

If you are interested in saving a relationship go and buy The Magic Of Making Up now. This book is written by a happily married man who gives you cheerful down to earth practical advice on how to save your marriage or partnership. Just have a look at all the testimonials he has had to see that his advice works and fast.

Whether you want to save your marriage or are talking about saving a long distance relationship, you need help. You could try marriage counseling or even doing a course like relationship rescue. But for most of us, we don't want to air our dirty laundry in public; even if it is with someone who has heard it all before or at least something similar.

We want to cure our relationship woes in private. How do I know? Why would there be shelves full of books on dealing with relationship problems if we were all ready to use counselors. There is a billion dollar industry involved in producing books, DVDs and courses on how to fix your own partnership issues.

This would not exist if there weren't loads of people willing to pay good money for these products. Unfortunately while there are some great books out there some of the material produced will do more harm than good. So you need to be careful what you read and whose advice you listen to.

Men and women are wired differently. It is not just cultural but physical differences in our brain that we are trying to overcome when communicating with members of the opposite sex. On average women have a more developed hearing and language center in their brain which may explain why traditionally they make better communicators.

Men are programmed to fight first and ask questions later. This again is a result of genetics and not a judgment on men. You can perhaps understand why it is difficult to discuss the problems you may be experiencing. But you have to learn how to communicate properly or you will either end up alone or even worse, incredibly lonely while still involved in a relationship.

A great partnership means that you have to share common interests. You have to be able to trust each other and have the facility to discuss how you are feeling without being worried about retribution. You both have to be allowed to be honest even when what you are saying is not what the other person wants to hear. This is not the same as you have the right to hurt one another. Wanting to inflict emotional pain on your partner is not one of the hallmarks of a successful relationship.

The good news is that you can learn how to do all these so long as you have a good teacher and they don't come much better than Mr T W Jackson. Saving a relationship will be easy once you get his book. What are you waiting for?

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Is Writing Letters To Get Your Ex Back Really A Good Idea

Here is a question that people have all the time. Is writing letters to get your ex back really a good idea? There are many people that write letters, text messages, e-mails and just about every other form of text-based correspondence that you can think of on a daily basis. Many of these people will resort to that form of communication when trying to get an ex-lover to fall in love with them again.

In order to truly comment on how effective this method is, we need to examine both the good points and the bad points about it. The good to writing letters is that they will allow you to express feelings that you might not otherwise be able to express. There are plenty of people that can say more in text than they’d ever be able to say verbally. So if letters are helping you with the communication process, they can definitely be a good thing.

On the other hand, letters are also quite impersonal. People that are broken up with over the phone, over an instant messaging program, through mail or even by text-message are people that tend to really hold grudges. The most honest way to break up with someone is in person, although many people just don’t have the gumption to do it this way. Just as this is true with breakups, so too is it true with everything else related to relationships. If you want to get your ex back, the letter might not be the best way to communicate that information.

This is actually even more evident if you go back and look at the previous good point about writing letters. Even though they can help you communicate things that you find hard to communicate verbally, your ex probably already knows that. Therefore, learning to communicate those things verbally shows that you can change for the better for your ex and that is something that is more likely to make them come back to you than a written letter.

Generally speaking though, all of this might be a bit of an academic debate. The reason for that is that many times the direct approach is not the best one when it comes to getting your ex back. Writing letters to get your ex back by definition involves the direct approach. If your goal with the letter is to start up the relationship again, you can do nothing but take the direct approach. The closer to the breakup you write the letter, the less likelihood there is of the direct approach being able to work.

Most people would advise that you go with the indirect approach. Let your relationship with your ex grow back into friendship after the breakup and then take the opportunity to reignite the relationship when it comes along. That is far more indirect than direct in nature and naturally does not involve the writing of any letters. This means that at best, there is debate going back and forth about how beneficial letter writing actually is.