Relationship Psychology

No relationship is perfect, but it is possible to make your partnership more enjoyable for each of you. After all, relationship psychology is all about finding ways to maintain a balance that stops one of both partners from becoming disillusioned with the union. If you've already broken up with your partner, then using similar relationship psychology principles can also help you to get your ex back.

Relationship psychology is about teaching each person inside the relationship how to recognize destructive or unhelpful patterns that could potentially be driving your partner away. The unfortunate part about most couples is that they often believe the other person will think the same way as they do. In truth, men and women have very different ways of communicating those things they need or want.

Women need to remember that men place more value on actions rather than words. This means a woman who constantly tries to get her partner to address problems in the relationship by talking about the issues or arguing about bad behavior is almost certain to see an increase in those negative patterns.

Instead of talking or arguing your way through an issue, try using a more psychological approach. Men respond more positively to your actions. They want to know that they are capable of making you happy. A man who is constantly faced with an upset partner will begin to think there's nothing he can do to make you happy, so he'll withdraw even further from you, even to the point of breaking up.

However, if he's faced with a happy, confident partner who is a pleasure to spend time with, he's less likely to withdraw. In fact, he'll likely draw even closer because he enjoys being around you. Men in this situation will often find themselves doing whatever they can to make sure you stay as happy as you were on those occasions. If you find it difficult to raise your self-confidence, then try giving yourself a mini-make over or spend some time doing something you enjoy. When you feel good within yourself, you're more likely to radiate that confidence outwardly as well.

Men need to remember that women value slightly different emotional triggers than they do. Women want to know that the man they love places enough value on her to really listen to what she's saying. If you feel your wife or girlfriend is pulling away from you, then sit down and just listen.

Ask questions about what your partner has just said and then take notice of her responses. If men can learn to listen attentively without allowing their mind to wander off, their girlfriends will begin to feel more loved, which leads them in turn to develop into a good mood, which makes them happy and enjoyable to send time with.

These primary differences in relationship psychology between men and women are simple things you can do to help strengthen your existing relationship, but they'll also work equally well if you're trying to get your ex back.

Look For Warning Signs of a Break-up

Dont Be Blindsided. Look for warning signs of a break-up.

As much as you may want this relationship to work, you might be seeing some warning signs of a break-up looming in the shadows. You might be able to save it and at the worst you might just be prepared for it if you start looking for the signs and know what to look for. There are many things that may be indicating that a break up is right around the corner.

One thing that you might find yourself doing is walking on eggshells. If there has been any change or added tension in the air and you feel like you have to tread carefully with every word you say or action you take, then things might be getting bad. It may even be that they are starting to get easily angered and will blow up with the slightest provocation. Be sure that you don't stick around if it at all turns violent.

If you seem to notice an increase in the amount of criticisms coming your way that may also be a sign. Where there used to be nothing but praise, now there is nothing but critical remarks. It could be that you are doing everything wrong, but more likely it is that they are now looking at you through a set of lenses that sees you in a negative light for some reason. They begin to see you in a negative light. It might be they are looking for reasons to justify their desire to leave. Whatever you do, don't let this affect your self-esteem. It isn't you, it's them and there is probably nothing that you can do to change their perception.

Sometimes you will notice a difference in the way affection is shown to you. It could be anything from hugs with a pat on the back or a less attention paid to kissing. You will notice that the little love gestures that were so prevalent earlier are no longer there. There is less hand holding, less winks from across the room, and more space in between the two of you on the couch. Every relationship will go through phases where there is a little less affection shown, but when it is combined with other warning signs you might have trouble.

If your lover has a new group of friends that they are spending time around, it could mean trouble for your relationship. It could mean that they are now looking for some big changes in their life. You might be the next one so you will need to keep an eye on this. Sometimes it could be something resembling a mid life crisis and in many instances it could be that this new group of friends is having a negative influence on your partner and encouraging them to leave. Your love might get the feeling that you are holding them back. Again, don't take this personally as it has more to do with a phase that they are going through. It will affect you personally, but it isn't your fault.

Breaking up is not a fun thing, but it is a part of life for most people. Don't let yourself be blindsided by a break up. Keep an eye out for warning signs of a break up and you might be able to stop it from happening. At the very least you will be more prepared for it.

Surviving A Break Up There Is Hope

Are you in the process of surviving a break up? It may seem like there is no hope. But, really there is.

First of all, you have to decide whether the relationship is really over or whether it’s just a temporary situation. Some people find that their coupledom becomes even stronger after a hiatus.

But other times, you know that it is over and you need to go about mourning the relationship. Your ex was probably the person who you were closest to in the whole world. Now, you need to find people and activities to replace him or her.

Sometimes you can turn to friends and family members to discuss the situation. If they are sympathetic and allow you to do the talking that you need to do, this is an optimal situation.

Unfortunately, most people are consumed with their own situations. They have little patience for dealing with other people’s problems and concerns. While they may listen for the first couple of days, their basic tenet will be “get over it.”

If this is the case, you may want to consider going to a counselor. A therapist will help you work through the issues that caused your relationship to dissolve. Many people have found that a counselor is the best person to help you in surviving a break up.

At some point, you have to start to move on. One of the best ways to do this is to exchange all of the personal items you have with your ex. Most of the time, this means clothes, but there are other items which you keep at each other’s homes.

If there are things like toothbrushes that don’t merit an exchange, throw them away. If you have personal gifts that you don’t want to give back, box them up and put them away for the time being. You don’t want to have anything that reminds you of your ex lying around the house for the time being.

Then, start focusing on how you can improve yourself. Because you were part of a couple for so long, you referenced yourself as “we.” Now, it is all about “me.” And, that’s not a bad place to be in.

You can now do the things you want. She didn’t like gambling? You can now go to the guys’ poker night. He didn’t like chick flicks? Rent all the movies you missed.

And, start doing a self improvement campaign. Go work out. Take some classes. Join a hiking group.

Start to meet new people, particularly people who can be friends not lovers. These people will provide a valuable network for you now and in the future.

Finally, at some point, you have to put yourself back on the market again. Go to single’s events or check out online dating sites. When you find someone new who you really like, you know you will be finally over your ex.

And that’s how to go about surviving a break up.

Should I Get Back With Ex Girlfriend

Should you try to get back with ex girlfriend when you think you can’t be away from her? When you think you can’t live without her and your life is incomplete you may have a challenge on your hands. It isn’t an impossible challenge, though. It is something that you can do but it will take a lot of introspection and thought about the situation. If you think you might want to get back with ex girlfriend, you need to make sure it’s worth it.

If you are trying to figure what made you have to get back with ex girlfriend in the first place you need to ask your self some questions. What was the reason for the break up in the first place? If it was your fault then look closely at what it was that you did. Was it due to your selfishness? This is something that might be hard to do. Look at the actions you took. Were they the results of a self-centered person? If so, then what has changed? What makes you so sure that you are done being self-centered? Is this desire to get back with ex girlfriend a result of self-centered thinking?

Before you try to get back with ex girlfriend, you need to make sure that it is a mutually beneficial relationship or it has very little chance of succeeding. If it is just something to try and fill a void in your life and heart then it may not be the best for them. You may have to live with the consequences of your selfish actions. Don’t expect to get taken back with open arms. You just have to know that if it isn’t good for both of you, it might not have good or positive results.

If the reason that you broke up has more to do with her selfish actions, then why do you think that she has changed or will change? Look closely at her actions. If there is genuine remorse and a willingness to change, you might have a chance. You need to ask “is she just going to do this again?” If she has a pattern of acting out of selfishness in a way that is harmful to your relationship and to you then you probably don’t. If you have significant reason to believe that what she did isn’t going to repeat itself then maybe you should get back with ex girlfriend. You have to see that that she is done looking out for only her self-interest and is more interested in something that is good for the both of you.

In either situation, whether it was because of your selfishness or hers, or even both, you need to fully believe that the both of you can act in the best interest of each other. You can not expect this relationship to go far if either one of you is self-absorbed. If you truly believe that you both are done being self-centered and can really be focused on the relationship it may be a good thing to get back together with ex.

Please Help Me Get My Ex Girlfriend Back

How many times do men ask their friends how do I get my ex girlfriend back? Honestly, I thought it was a woman's prerogative to change her mind. Some men just don't know when they are onto a good thing and their reasons for ending relationships border on the ridiculous.

My male friends have finished with girls for:

1) wearing the wrong type of shoes! 2) Her mother 3) The new barmaid at his favorite bar smiled at him.

Now ok I know that a pretty face can turn any man's head and there is the dreaded notion that a woman may turn into her mother but come on guys - the wrong type of shoes? If women didn't date men because of the clothes they were wearing the human race would have died out long ago. Behind every well dressed man is a good woman- in early life his mother and later his wife!

I always tell my men friends that they need to make a list before they break up with their partners. On one side of the list, you put her good points. Do you find her interesting? Does she look after you? Does she cook for you? Does she laugh at your jokes? Are you attracted to her?

On the other side of the list, they can put the things that wind them up. Ok she may nag at little too much but then if you put the toilet seat down she might stop. She may not want more than a cuddle every evening but five times a week doesn't mean that she isn't caring enough.

Writing the good and bad points of your life together down on paper may seem like a cold approach but it is a very practical way of seeing what a great relationship you do/did have. You need to compare the two lists and decide if you should be breaking up with this woman. If you are doing it after the event, it also helps to clarify if you made the right decision to finish the relationship. Sometimes we regret breaking up as we end up feeling lonely. But loneliness is not a reason to get back together.

If you have dumped the lady in your life but now know it was the wrong decision you need to act fast. Great life partners do not grow on trees. She has shown that she will put up with you in all your glory - how many women would be mad enough to do that?

Take a leaf out Richard Gere's book and put some romance back into her life. Send her flowers - not a bunch of red roses but some of her favorites. Send her a handwritten letter telling her how much you love her and miss her. Book her favorite restaurant and treat her to a night out. In short, you need to treat her just like the princess you believe her to be and assuming you are not a complete disgrace, you won't have ask how to get my ex girlfriend back.

Saving A Relationship

Saving a relationship might seem like a hopeless task for some women. They worry endlessly that their relationship is falling apart and no matter what they do, their partner seems to be pulling further and further away from them. In an effort to pull their relationship back together, many people try to talk to their partner to find out what's wrong or what could be changed, but unfortunately these tactics can sometimes end up driving your partner even further away.

There are some psychologically proven principles you can put to good use for you when you're saving a relationship. Most relationships move through several phases as they progress. The initial phases of attraction are based on mutual enjoyment of each others company. Your intimacy levels are high and you both want to spend more and more time with each other.

The key to keeping any relationship at the same electrically charged emotional levels they were at when you first met isn't what you'd expect. The key to saving a relationship is attraction.

Many women begin trying to analyze every word their partner has said and the tone of his voice while he said it, trying to find a meaning behind why he's pulling away. They try to make sure they spend even more time with him, insist on knowing or finding out what he's doing when he's not with you or even forcing him to stop acting a certain way in an effort to make the relationship feel more stable.

In reality, these actions are driving you further apart instead of saving a relationship that was once great fun to be a part of. If you're serious about putting your relationship back on track and keeping it that way, then there are some things you'll need to think about.

1. Back to the Beginning

Think about what aspect of you your partner fell in love with when you first met. Most men will say they fell in love with a woman who was fun, happy, bubbly, confident, independent and smart. Many women will say they fell in love with a happy, confident, funny, sensitive guy.

When you first met, you would have been working hard to make sure your partner enjoyed the time he spent in your company. As you became more familiar with each other, you felt secure that you didn't need to work quite so hard. Ask yourself what's changed about each of you since you first met.

2. Attraction

As mentioned before, the key to saving a relationship is attraction. When you're attracted to your partner and he's attracted to you, it's natural you both want to spend more time in each other's company. As you become more familiar with each other, the effort it takes to look good and behave in a fun manner falls away.

Attraction isn't always physically based. Many people are attracted to confidence and independence. Think carefully about what attracted your partner to you originally. This is the key to making your partner fall in love with you all over again.

3. Communication

Effective communication when you're working on saving a relationship doesn't mean sitting down and talking over all the problems in the relationship for hours at a time. In fact, this could break your relationship even further apart.

You need to remember the type of conversations you had when you first met. Most frequently they would have been happy, light-hearted conversations that made you both feel good and made you both enjoy the time you spent together. It's natural for any human on the planet to avoid situations that make them feel bad, so try to find ways to communicate that make you both remember how much you enjoy each other's company.

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