Thursday, March 31, 2011

Can I Get My Girlfriend Back - Yes - Possibly

The answer to the question 'can i get my girlfriend back?' is yes... probably. You see if your girl still loves you, no matter how much you've messed up in the past, she will more than likely be receptive to you if you can prove to her that she won't be wasting her time and that she won't get hurt again. No one wants to be hurt and no one wants to set themselves up to be hurt by trusting someone who has already proven they can't be trusted. For this reason you will probably be able to win her back but you had better expect an uphill climb.

The first step is to give her a little time and space. Don't rush her or expect everything to happen quickly. It takes a lot longer to rebuild trust than it took to tear it apart. More than likely by the time you've gotten to this point you've let her down more than once. Please don't think that all that past hurt and all those mistakes will go away and she'll forget about them just because you say 'I'm sorry' or you tell her that 'I've changed'. She'll probably need to see some proof that that is true.

It's important for you to concentrate on yourself instead of just trying to convince her you've changed. It will take you time to truly change the person that you are and you don't want to make the mistake of thinking you can somehow 'trick' her into believing you are a different man.

It's true, you may be able to but what will that accomplish? Eventually she'll just see that you've lied to her... again and she'll just leave you all over again. Eventually she won't fall for it and the two of you will truly be done. Much better to actually make the changes and make them permanently. It will not only give you the answer to the question 'can i get my girlfriend back' it will also help you to keep the relationship strong and just make you a better man overall.

Depending on how much time has passed since the two of you broke up, you may want to start all over with her. Pretend like the two of you are just getting to know each other. Take it very slow. The worst thing you can do at that point is to try and talk her into trusting you again. This is just more lip service. Instead try to spend time with her, just as a friend, and let her see that you've really changed. When she sees it with her own eyes it's much more likely that she'll learn to trust you again.

Remember, if you want to know 'can i get my girlfriend back?' the answer really lies mostly with you. Love doesn't die that easily so unless you really treated her badly it's very likely that she still cares for you. It's up to you to prove to her that she's not a fool for it.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Are You Studying Relationship Psychology

Are you studying relationship psychology in a bid to discover why you and your partner don't appear to be getting on very well? If so I would suggest you stop before you end up driving yourself nuts.

There are a huge number of relationship philosophy and psychology books out on the market but every one you read appears to contradict the others. In a recent interview, even Dr Phil, the relationship expert,admitted that most therapist and counselors don't know how to fix a partnership. Sure they will give you the theory and the reasons behind some types of behavior, but whether that sorts out your particular problem is more a matter of luck than anything else. Often they come from a background of broken relationships, but you won't know this as your counselor never divulges their personal details to their clients.

Every partnership is different and while some issues between men and women i.e. who wants more sex, who does the most housework, who earns the most money, who minds the kids more often; can be similar. However at the end of the day the issues you are facing are as a direct result of who you and your partner are.

Does that mean you can't find help? Of course not but you don't need a relationship psychology course to do it. What you need is a great self help book that will help you to communicate and relate to your partner better. Something for both of you to read and share.

I suggest the Magic of Making Up as it is written by a man which is rather unusual to start with. Mr Jackson is very happily married and committed to helping his clients either become that way or remain that way. You only have to read some of the comments from his readers to see what impact the book had on their lives. Perhaps you have come to the end of your partnership, as I am not going to lie and say every relationship can be saved, but at least wait before making your decision until you read this book. Then you will be armed with the knowledge to make the right decision for you, your partner and if appropriate your kids.

It takes guts to admit that there are issues in your partnership that need working on. It is so much easier to put your head in the sand and hope that they will go away. But the sad fact is that most won't disappear for good. They may go away for a little while but they will come back and perhaps even worse than before. Problems have a way of developing a life of their own if they are not dealt with quickly and efficiently.

You and your partner have invested a lot in each other and so you should be willing to take one more step to try to prevent a breakup. So forget about studying relationship psychology and instead concentrate on making each other happy once again.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Can I Get My Ex To Love Me Again - Consider This

Are you asking yourself the question: can I get my ex to love me again, I don't want to diminish the hurt and anguish you're going through, but I wish I had a penny for every time I've heard someone ask that question. You see, it's not an uncommon problem. Sometimes we are the ones who end a relationship and then later realize that it was a mistake to let them go. Other times, it's out of our hands and someone we love has let us go. Either way, you can make things work out and have your love back with you, no matter how impossible or hopeless it may seem now.

There is one thing you really need to consider, and that is that it's very, very likely that your ex does still love you. Love can be killed. If you treat someone bad enough, long enough the love they had for you will turn to disdain. But, in a lot of cases, that don't involve out and out abuse, but rather just a slow deterioration of the relationship where you both start to take each other for granted, the love is very likely still alive and well even though it's buried and you can't see it.

It's in these times that it's usually the easiest to fan those flames and reignite the passion and love the two of you once felt. If you lost your love because you were abusive (physically, mentally, emotionally, or sexually) do both of you a favor and don't even consider rekindling things with your ex, or finding someone new, until you've spent some serious time with a counselor who can help you figure out why you have the need to hurt another person, especially someone who loves you.

If the problems aren't quite that serious and dire, the first thing you should do is to find out what your ex does feel for you. The best way to do that is to ask. Call your ex and invite them to coffee, dinner, lunch, a walk, etc. The point is try to find an enjoyable activity that the two of you can do together that will allow you to talk.

This 'date' doesn't have to be a big deal, as a matter of fact, you're probably going to want to keep things pretty casual at this point. Just have fun. Remind your ex of what a great, fun loving person you are. They probably haven't seen that side of you for quite some time. It's hard to be happy and carefree when your relationship is on the rocks. Remind them.

Pay attention to the way your ex responds to these glimpses of the 'old you'. Do they seem interested and engaged? If so, it's a pretty good bet that the love is still there. Do they seem indifferent and like they can't wait to get out of there? If that's the case it might just be too late and you may have to be ready to walk away.

If you and your ex have a great time, ask them if they'd like to get together again. Still keep things light and casual. Don't move too fast. Just keep reminding them, by actions and not words, of the person they fell in love with. This will basically allow the two of you to start all over and that is the answer to your question: can I get my ex to love me again?

Friday, March 25, 2011

A Simple Plan For How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

No two ways about it, emotions run high after a break up. That's a completely natural reaction, but these emotions can work against you, especially if you are wondering how to get your ex boyfriend back. There aren't any high school classes that teach us how to handle break ups which means we often have to navigate the situation on our own; stumbling through it all and hoping we're going about it the right way. The good news is that all you really need to increase your chances of success is a simple plan like the one that follows.

You need to give your ex some time and space. This has the dual effect of giving each of you a chance to calm down and collect your thoughts, as well as sending your ex boyfriend the signal that you are doing fine without him. What? That's right. Even though you may feel like a wreck without having him in your life, you have to show how much you don't need him.

Do what you can to reconnect with any family and friends that you haven't talked to in a while. Now, you don't want to whine about everything and unload all of your problems on them. But you should certainly feel free to just talk to them and draw emotional support from them; not necessarily in a direct way, but from the fact that you have a social circle of people that care about you.

While it's not a part of the overall plan, you may wish to ask your family and friends what they saw as the downfall of your relationship. Be cautious though. If they didn't like your ex, they may place undue blame on him. On the other hand, if they did like him, they may lay more blame on you. However, you could also hear some things you weren't aware of, and will be able to fix those things.

Regardless of whether or not you ask the people you know, you have to reflect on what went wrong. You need to try to look at it as logically as possible, as though you were an outside observer.

After taking some time away from each other and finding out what went wrong, it's time to talk to your ex. Do not make the mistake of baring all of your feelings at once. You need to keep the first conversations light and positive. Over the course of several conversations, you can start talking about what went wrong, how you plan on doing better, and the possibility of getting back together. That's really about all there is to how to get your ex boyfriend back. However, this or any other plan is totally useless if you don't follow through on the steps. So, the choice is yours. You can read this and keep hoping, or you can actually do something to make it happen.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Are Your Contemplating Divorce - A Marriage Counsellor Can Help Save Your Marriage

If you are thinking that your marriage is in trouble and it’s time for a divorce, perhaps a marriage counsellor can help. There are many marriage counsellors who specialize in just that – helping people like you to save their marriage. But how do you know if a marriage counsellor is a good one? Here are a few tips to keep in mind when looking for a family therapist or marriage counsellor.

1. The first thing you need to look at is the credentials of the counsellor. There are three different classes of counsellors:

* The first type is a Ph.D or Psy.D level counsellor. These counsellors have spent at least five years at graduate school and have performed a minimum of 3,000 hours of therapy while being supervised by an experienced psychologist. A person will need to have a doctoral level degree to be qualified legally as a ‘clinical psychologist’. A counsellor with a Ph.D is often more academic and will often do forensic and scholarly work as well as therapy.

* Next there is M.S.W which is a Master of Social Work. Social workers can work with individuals or in institutions and are trained to apply social theory to different situations.

* Lastly, there is the M.A. or M.S. in counselling. There are often known as Marriage and Family Therapists. This type of therapist can only work in small group counselling situations or with individuals. They will have undergone two years of study and earned a degree and will have worked a minimum of 1500 hours of therapy under supervision.

A Marriage and Family Therapist (M.A. or M.S.) and Social Workers (M.S.W.) are the least expensive options for therapy and if you are claiming your marriage counselling on insurance then you will probably be directed to one of these.

2. Once you know what type of therapist you will see, you then need to find out what prices they charge. Marriage and Family Therapists tend to be the least expensive, while Clinical Psychologists are the most expensive. If you really want to save your marriage the cheapest option might not always be the best. When looking at costs, don’t just look at the cost per session but also the expected length of treatment as this can make a big difference to the overall cost.

3. Next, you will want to look at each therapists policies. You need to consider the following:

* How much do you need to pay if you miss a session?

* If you take a vacation will you still be charged for the session for that week?

* Does your therapist accept calls at home or only at the office? Do they accept calls outside of your normal session times?

* Is there another person that you can talk to in an emergency?

A good family counsellor will have one goal in mind – to help you save your marriage. If you are seeing a counsellor and you don’t feel that they are dedicated to helping you save your marriage then you should move on and find someone else. There are many good counsellors or therapists out there that can help you save your marriage from divorce, so don’t settle for divorce before giving therapy a try.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Break Up Help If Youre Still In Love With Your Ex

Did you go through a break up, but you find you still have strong feelings for your ex? Are you searching for break up help? Regardless, you now find yourself separated from the person you are still in love with and you are in a position where you will have to move on, or get help to win them back. Either way, you have come to the right place to get some help.

If you have decided that it's best for you to move on, then the type of break up help you will need depends on how bad your relationship was, and how nasty the break up itself was. If it was really bad, and there was a lot of emotional drama, then you are going to need a lot of time to come to grips with what happened and to be happy again, but it can be done.

No matter how bad you feel, it is vital that you take care of yourself. You don't have to be a martyr or a victim. Instead, you have to decide that you are going to carry on, and that you are going to be better than ever. remember, we are talking about break up help if you have decided that you are going to move on. Don't be hard on yourself for past mistakes or for the relationship coming to an end. Forgive yourself if you have to. Then hold your head high and get ready to enjoy the new life that's ahead of you.

If you find it is just too hard to go on, then get help from a professional; either a counselor or psychiatrist. They will be able to help you get on the right track. Some people feel funny about getting help, but keep in mind that they will hold everything you say in the strictest confidence, and that no matter what you tell them, they have heard it all before.

Once you are feeling better, you may actually decide that you would like to get back together with your ex, or maybe that's what you would like break up help for in the first place. If you want to get back together with your ex, then you need to take small steps. Do not start off too strong. If you push too hard they will only pull away, and that's not what you want.

Give your ex some time to sort things out. You can re-open the lines of communication after you have given them enough time. Your first contact should be low key. Your only goal here is to be able to talk to them again. Each time you talk be sure to stay positive and keep your ex feeling comfortable. By doing this, they will be more receptive to hearing from you again. And the more time you spend with them, the more they will get used to having you around again. In a nutshell, the best break up help you can have is to give it some time, stay positive, and spend more and more time with your ex.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

5 Reasons To Not Work To Get X Back

It can be hard to let go of something that was once incredibly important to you. This is the problem that many run into as they deal with a broken relationship. While some will realize that the relationship was not good for them, others will continuously work to get their ex back.

Some will have had a relationship with someone who is a great boyfriend or girlfriend. Unfortunately, others have run into relationships with partners who did not improve the quality of their lives. If you have had this type of relationship, you need to move on. You need to think of all of the reasons to not work to get X back. These five reasons are the main reasons to not work to get your ex back.

They Were Physically Abusive

If you were in a relationship with someone who was physically abusive, you should not consider them for another relationship. While they may claim that they have changed, you should not put yourself in that position again. They failed to respect you and your body. You should not be with anyone who fails to respect you.

They Were Mentally Abusive

If you were with someone who was mentally and emotionally abusive, you should not get back with them. They worked to control and manipulate you by breaking you down and diminishing your self-worth. You should never be with someone who fails to bring out the best in you.

They Were Selfish

It can be difficult to understand why some are more selfish than others. While it is normal to be somewhat selfish, it is not normal to be selfish enough to hurt the person that you are with. If your ex could not think about your well-being or your emotions because they were too selfish, you should not get back together with them.

They Were Immature

Immaturity can be a real problem in a relationship. If the person that you were with was immature, you need to give them time to grow up before you consider another relationship. If they still show signs of immaturity, you should not get back together with them.

They Cheated

The topic of cheating can be incredibly personal and confusing. While you may want to believe that it was a one-time mistake, you may be unsure if they can change. If someone cheated on you, they may cheat on you again. If you want to keep yourself from the possibility of being cheated on again by the same person, you should not get back together with them.

While some of these different reasons to not work to get X back are serious, others are more personal. You need to take a serious look at your previous relationship to understand how your ex treated you, and how you felt as you were with them. If your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend showed these qualities, think about the value of your self-worth. If they failed to appreciate you and your worth, you should not work to get back together with them.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Can I Get My Ex To Love Me Again - 4 People To Ask

"Can I get my ex to love me again?" It can be difficult to get over a relationship that has ended. While it is difficult for those who have ended the relationship, it is even more difficult for those who did not want to see the relationship come to an end. The love is still there for that person, and they constantly question whether or not the love could still be there for the other party.

Those who still feel love toward the ended relationship will often wonder, "can I get my ex to love me again", as the true feelings of their ex may be unknown. This question can be incredibly difficult to answer without the right frame of mind. If you want to know whether or not you can get your ex to love you again you need to understand the situation. While you may not want to talk to your ex about the possibility of reconciliation, there are four groups of people that you should talk to.

Your Friends and Family

If you want to get your ex to love you again you need to talk to your friends and family. They will be able to give you the encouragement that you need to be successful. This process can be emotionally straining and draining; your support system will help you to get through it.

Your Closest Ex

If you are close to one of your exes talk to them about your actions in your relationship with them. They may be able to highlight the things that turned them off, helping you to make the changes that you need to make to win your latest ex back.

His Friends

If you are close to any of your ex's friends you should talk to them about your desire to win your ex back. They may want the two of you to get back together and may be willing to help you out by talking to him about the situation.

His Family

The same can be said for any family members that you are close to. They may want to see the two of you back together and may be willing to help you out.

If you want to win your ex back you need to understand how they feel. The best way to gauge the situation is to talk to the people that know them best. With that being said, you also need to understand how you should approach the situation. You need to talk to the people who know you best to understand what you may have done to cause the end of the relationship, and what you need to change in order to get them back into your arms. If you are asking yourself, "can I get my ex to love me again", you need to talk to these four groups of people.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Answering The Question Of Why Do I Want My Ex Back

Going through a break up is one of the toughest things that people have to go through as part of their lives. People get hurt, and it can be hard to face each new day. However, as time passes, we start to miss our ex, and it gets to a point where we want them back so much, that we start to question ourselves, we want to know "Why do I want my ex back?"

While such a question may play tricks with your head, you should know that it is perfectly reasonable, and that many other people have asked the same question. It is not a sign that you are going crazy, far from it. Your friends keep telling you that you should just move on and forget about your ex, and you agree with them, at least on the surface. But deep down, you keep hearing that little voice telling you to try to get back with your ex. However, there are a few things to think about before you take the next step.

We are working under the assumption that you are asking "why do I want my ex back?" No problem. The first thing you should do is consider what you have just gone through. Remember, a break up can cause problems with your emotions, and prevent you from thinking as clearly as you normally would. This doesn't mean your thoughts are right or wrong, but you should look at them closely to see how you really feel, and what the real cause of those feelings are.

Chances are that the both of you didn't meet and instantly have a deep, meaningful relationship; it just doesn't happen. Especially if either one of you had been hurt before. Relationships typically take time to grow and develop. They also take some work and a certain level of compromise. Needless to say, putting this amount of effort into something, only to see it fail can be devastating. In other words, you don't really want your ex back, what you really want is for the relationship to work out. After all, you have a part of your heart and soul invested into it.

After you have taken some time to consider why you want your ex back, it's time to take action. There are really only two choices you have at this stage. You may decide that your mind is playing tricks on you, and that you don't really want them back. In this case all you need to do is live with those thoughts and let them eventually subside. Your other choice is to accept that your mind is ending you the right message and that you really do want your ex back. If this is your choice, then you have your work cut out for you.

You will have to contact your ex and let them know how you feel. You will have to try to patch things up and show them that it can work out this time. There are changes you'll have to make, but if you are serious about getting back together, it won't be too difficult. By following the above advice you will be able to answer the question of "why do I want my ex back" by saying, "I'm glad we're back together."

Friday, March 11, 2011

5 Best Ways To Get Back At Your Ex

The relationship between two people is a delicate bond. A bond that requires building up and maintenance for the relationship to flourish and be healthy. The sad fact is that breaking up is a reality and is often frustrating, stressful and nerve wracking. After a break up it is perfectly normal for you to want to get back at your ex.

However, you need to ask yourself if that's really the best thing to do. The art of getting back at your ex can actually lead to getting back together with your ex. By applying the following five tips, your ex may appreciate you more, and want to get back together with you.

1) Stay strong. The last thing you want to do is beg. Acting needy and clingy smacks of hopeless desperation, and is more of a turn off than anything. Also, by being weak you will be giving more power to your ex, and that tends to make things worse. Instead, give your ex the impression that you are doing fine without them by staying strong. Perhaps your ex will realize you have moved on, but they weren't as ready to split as they first thought.

2) Reduce communication. What? You may be wondering how not talking to each other could ever help you get your ex back. It seems so counterintuitive. But in the long run, it can be a smart move. It gives both parties a chance to cool down and reassess what went wrong. Additionally, it gives your ex more time to miss you. The old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is true in this case and can lead to being together again.

3) Flexibility is vital. Avoid ultimatums and demands. Instead of arguing, try sympathizing and listening. Go with the flow and be flexible. Your ex may be happy to see that you are willing to compromise and be reasonable. This alone may be enough get them thinking about being a couple again. Plus, it shows them that you don't always have to argue. (Now, how did I know you have argued in the past?)

4) Go out! Look, you broke up...everybody gets that. But that doesn't mean you need to wallow in self-pity and isolate yourself from your friends and having a good time. Go out. Live a little. Have fun. Be with friends. You don't need to start dating to prove a point, just have a good time. Not only will doing this be therapeutic, it will also make you look better in the eyes of your ex.

5) Be yourself. That's all. Just be who you are. Chances are that your ex was originally attracted to some element, or elements of who you really are. Be confident in being whoever you are. Nobody likes a phony, and your ex, in time, may respond to the same things they found so appealing when they first met you. Mending those broken bonds are a sure way to get your ex back for good.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

3 Tips On Things To Talk About With Your Boyfriend

Love can be better explained by the oxymoron, painful pleasure, because sometimes you have to do certain things you don't like doing; choosing things to talk about with your boyfriend may be one of those things. The fact is men get bored with topics in which they don't have a real interest in. Which means the majority of the time it's left up to you, as his significant other, to quickly discover where his true interest lies. But Hey! Let's face it! Sometimes it's extremely difficult to get our lover to open up and tell us what they truly like.

Think about it this way, your man may be one of the ones, who finds it difficult to share his true feelings. If so you have to knock those naturally raised barriers down and earn his trust. And one of the easiest ways to do that is to talk about what he likes to do. Yes! I know what you're thinking, "Oh my gosh, what if I don't have any interest or knowledge about the topic at all?" Well, guess what girlfriend, if you want to have a protracted conversation, with your beau, you're going to have to suck it up; project some interest and at least a little bit of understanding about the topic being discussed. But it doesn't have to be a complicated process either.

One of the easiest things to talk about with your man is food. Almost everyone enjoys talking about food and beverages. And I'm willing to bet you and your man really enjoy good food and a great drink along with it. Chances are your first date involved having a meal or drink together. Therefore you know right off the bat, food is something you both have interest and perhaps a passion about. The wonderful thing about talking about food is it often opens the door for moving on into talking about another of his interest.

And music happens to be one of those open end conversations, that most men like to talk about. Once again another subject you and he both will very likely have an interest in. Even if you both have a different taste in the type of music, it is really easy to find a common ground about songs you both enjoy. The truth is discussions about music, can often lead into talking about love and romance, which in turn can lead into a more intimate conversation.

Naturally you know where I'm headed with this conversation. Yep! You guessed it; sex or you might prefer bedroom talk. Talk about a way to grab your man's attention and hold it; face it girlfriend you will have his undivided attention. You may have to lose a little bit of your inhibitions, to talk about the more intimate parts of your relationship and sex life, but it will serve you well by doing so.

These are just 3 tips on things to talk about with your boyfriend. There are many more such as reading, movies, world events, politics and hundreds of others. However, it still comes back on you to learn what truly interest your man.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Answer To How To Get Back With My Ex Boyfriend By Rekindling His Love

At just over three years, my then boyfriend came to the conclusion that we weren't old enough to have a meaningful relationship. For whatever reason, he thought it best for us to live our own lives, to have our own space, and to travel along our own separate paths. It was shortly thereafter that I hatched the idea of how to get back with my ex boyfriend by rekindling his love, though I wasn't quite sure how to go about it.

Perhaps we were a bit too young, maybe he needed to hang out "with the boys" a bit more often, who knows. Either way, I was heartbroken and my steady stream of tears did nothing to disguise my feelings.

As I said, I wasn't quite sure what to do, but I knew I had to talk to him to let him know how I felt. That's why I started off by calling him with unvarying frequency. And, when I was unable to reach him, I would spend my time trying to determine his whereabouts and activities.

The problem was it would only make me feel worse when I realized he wasn't spending that time with me. But my friends told me to stop doing this things, they could not only see that it was upsetting me, but that it was also doing no good whatsoever. I took me a while to listen to them, but eventually I changed my plan.

Okay, ladies, you need to take it from me. If you're serious about rekindling his lost love and getting back together, you have to stop being so desperate. My boyfriend said we needed space, and in a way he was right.

As soon as I stopped spending every waking moment trying to talk to him and track him down, things started getting better. In fact, once I cut off all attempts at communication with him, he called me. Granted, he wanted me to come get the few things of mine he still had, but I saw it as a foot in the door, and I was right! But I still played it cool, he didn't need to know my plan was starting to work.

It seemed as though the less I tried talking to him, the more he wanted to talk to me. It was if he was coming to the realization that he needed me back in his life. By giving him the space he had wanted, he had the time to miss me.

Really, that's all there is to it. Either things were meant to be, or not. If they were meant to be, then giving him his space, and not tracking him down will work to give him the time he needs to prove his true feelings for you to himself. Keep cool, let him sort things out, and give yourself some time as well. By doing so, the question of "how to get back with my ex boyfriend by rekindling his love?" will work itself out.

Friday, March 4, 2011

After Relationships Help - Do And Dont Do

If you're reading this article, I guess you've just got out of a relationship. It doesn't matter if it was a mutual decision, your decision or if the decision was made for you, it's still a very difficult thing to go through. Most of us would like to end the suffering and pain (and maybe guilt) as soon as possible but many people turn to the wrong things and the wrong people to help them get over a breakup. Avoid making the mistakes that will only add to your pain in the long run, use these after relationships help tips so you can move on quickly and with your dignity.

When it comes to handling a breakup there are two distinct lists you need to follow: a list of what to do and a list of what not to do. If you follow both lists you can move on a lot easier. Here are the dos and don'ts:

DO:

Enjoy yourself. Have fun (as much as possible at least). Even though it may seem impossible if you surround yourself with a good group of friends you can actually have a little fun during this time, you just have to let yourself. Allow yourself to be distracted and don't hang on to your pain, try to learn to let it go or at least learn to put it (and leave it) in the back of your mind. Spending time with your pals doing fun things can help you accomplish that goal.

Go for that makeover you've been thinking about. Now is a great time to focus on you in a positive way. It may be time to get n shape, move, learn a new skill, take up a new hobby, get some new clothes, or just get a new hairstyle. It doesn't have to be big it just needs to be something that will make you feel more positive about yourself and the future and give you a reason to smile.

Only allow yourself to think about your relationship from the standpoint of what you can learn from your mistakes. This is not the time to wallow and obsess over every conversation and all the endless what ifs. This is the time to analyze what went wrong and what you can do in your next relationship to make sure you don't repeat the same mistakes. This may mean that you redefine the type of person you become involved with in the first place.

DON'T:

Don't try to talk your ex into getting back with you. Even if there is a chance that the two of you can reconcile some day, you need to give things time so you can be sure you are getting back together for the right reasons and not just because you're afraid of being lonely. Give it time.

Don't rewind every conversation and every comment to death. As I said above, any time you think of your relationship it should be from the standpoint of what can I do better next time and not what should I have done differently this time.

Don't hook up with everyone you find. That is not fair to you or the new person in your life. They don't deserve to feel like they are second string just because you are hurting. Just keep your social interactions restricted to family and friends and put the romance on hold for a while.

In all aspects of life we can be challenged to find the right path and to do the right things. This is very true when it comes to finding constructive things to do to help you move on after relationships end. By following the simple common sense advice above you will greatly improve your chances of moving on more quickly, with less pain, and with less baggage. Don't make things harder than they already are, use your head while your heart is mending.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

5 Reasons To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

When you break up with someone, you are removing that person from your life. Even if you have an amicable break up and plan to stay in touch with your ex, you are still removing that person from the relationship aspect of your life. For some, this is a positive thing to do. For others, this can actually be detrimental to the welfare of their lives.

Some find that they need to get their ex girlfriend back into their lives to truly be happy. They realize that they were better off with that person, and need to win them back. If you are debating the merits of your last relationship, consider these five reasons to get your ex girlfriend back. You may realize that you need them more than you think you do.

You Make her Happy

Did you make your ex girlfriend happy? Was she happy when she was with you? When you manage to make someone else happy, you will find happiness for yourself. If you truly made the person that you were with happy, you should consider getting back together with them.

She Makes You Happy

Did your ex girlfriend make you happy? If you have found someone who makes you happy, you should want to hang onto that person. It is important to have these kinds of people in your life, as they will improve your overall mood as you go through the motions of life.

You have Similar Morals and Goals

It can be incredibly difficult to find someone that has the same morals and goals as you. In life, you need to find someone with these similar characteristics if you want to truly find the best relationship possible. When you have found someone with similar morals and goals as you, you need to work to get them back. If you have found someone with the same beliefs as you, you have found someone that you can truly connect with and be happy with.

You Help Each Other Grow

No one is going to be perfect. Relationships are all about growing, both together and individually. If you have found someone that helps you to grow in your relationship, and as an individual, you should not let them go. If your ex girlfriend helped you to grow, you need to work to get her back into your life.

You Have Children

If you have children with your ex girlfriend, you may want to consider getting back together with her. While it is not necessary, it is incredibly helpful for your children.

If you realize that you are better off with someone in your life, rather than out of your life, do not hesitate to bring them back in. Work to get your ex girlfriend back so that you can thoroughly enjoy your life.