Sunday, July 4, 2010

Saving A Relationship

Saving a relationship might seem like a hopeless task for some women. They worry endlessly that their relationship is falling apart and no matter what they do, their partner seems to be pulling further and further away from them. In an effort to pull their relationship back together, many people try to talk to their partner to find out what's wrong or what could be changed, but unfortunately these tactics can sometimes end up driving your partner even further away.

There are some psychologically proven principles you can put to good use for you when you're saving a relationship. Most relationships move through several phases as they progress. The initial phases of attraction are based on mutual enjoyment of each others company. Your intimacy levels are high and you both want to spend more and more time with each other.

The key to keeping any relationship at the same electrically charged emotional levels they were at when you first met isn't what you'd expect. The key to saving a relationship is attraction.

Many women begin trying to analyze every word their partner has said and the tone of his voice while he said it, trying to find a meaning behind why he's pulling away. They try to make sure they spend even more time with him, insist on knowing or finding out what he's doing when he's not with you or even forcing him to stop acting a certain way in an effort to make the relationship feel more stable.

In reality, these actions are driving you further apart instead of saving a relationship that was once great fun to be a part of. If you're serious about putting your relationship back on track and keeping it that way, then there are some things you'll need to think about.

1. Back to the Beginning

Think about what aspect of you your partner fell in love with when you first met. Most men will say they fell in love with a woman who was fun, happy, bubbly, confident, independent and smart. Many women will say they fell in love with a happy, confident, funny, sensitive guy.

When you first met, you would have been working hard to make sure your partner enjoyed the time he spent in your company. As you became more familiar with each other, you felt secure that you didn't need to work quite so hard. Ask yourself what's changed about each of you since you first met.

2. Attraction

As mentioned before, the key to saving a relationship is attraction. When you're attracted to your partner and he's attracted to you, it's natural you both want to spend more time in each other's company. As you become more familiar with each other, the effort it takes to look good and behave in a fun manner falls away.

Attraction isn't always physically based. Many people are attracted to confidence and independence. Think carefully about what attracted your partner to you originally. This is the key to making your partner fall in love with you all over again.

3. Communication

Effective communication when you're working on saving a relationship doesn't mean sitting down and talking over all the problems in the relationship for hours at a time. In fact, this could break your relationship even further apart.

You need to remember the type of conversations you had when you first met. Most frequently they would have been happy, light-hearted conversations that made you both feel good and made you both enjoy the time you spent together. It's natural for any human on the planet to avoid situations that make them feel bad, so try to find ways to communicate that make you both remember how much you enjoy each other's company.

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